As a parent, it’s easy to find yourself comparing your family to others and wishing for more for your kids. My family has always had enough, but we live modestly—especially compared to some families in our neighborhood. We occupy a cozy 1,000-square-foot duplex, with a living/dining room, a family area, and two small bedrooms. While it suits our family of four just fine, it means my two sons need to share a room.
When we first moved in, our younger son was still a baby and slept with us, so sharing a room wasn’t an issue. Our older son got the second bedroom, and I thought we might turn the family room into a third bedroom eventually. However, I delayed making any real plans for them to share a room for a couple of years (since our little one co-slept with us for a long time). Honestly, I was apprehensive about the idea.
I felt guilty that my kids didn’t have their own spaces like many of their friends. I worried about how things would change as they got older—would my eldest need his own space during puberty? Would sharing a room lead to constant bickering? Would they resent each other and compare their living situation to peers, feeling ashamed that we couldn’t afford a bigger home?
Then it hit me: all these worries were just that—worries. They weren’t based on reality. I needed to stop stressing and just dive in to see how it would go. So a few months ago, I told my older son that his little brother was moving in with him. He protested a bit, but honestly, it was less than I expected. I framed it as a chance to create a “Brothers Den”—a cool hangout just for them. He had a few requests: bean bag chairs, a lava lamp, and a TV for video games. We rearranged a few things, and their excitement grew as we transformed their space.
Of course, it wasn’t all smooth sailing. When two kids share a room, clutter accumulates quickly, and there’s limited space for all their toys. We went through closets, sorted toy bins, and cleared floor space to ensure both boys had room for their belongings without feeling cramped.
Now that they’ve been sharing for a few months, I can honestly say I have no idea why I hesitated in the first place. It’s turned out to be one of the best decisions we’ve made as a family.
It’s not without its challenges, of course. There’s been some whining, some disputes, and a bit of tattling (though not more than before), but the positives far outweigh the difficulties. If you’re contemplating merging your kids’ bedrooms, whether out of necessity or just for fun, I can wholeheartedly recommend it.
Here’s why:
Connection
Brotherly bonding may sometimes resemble an all-out wrestling match, but that’s all part of it. Living in close quarters forces them to connect, no matter how that looks.
Creating Memories
Some of my fondest childhood memories come from simply being together—living life in its most ordinary form. With their shared space, my boys have countless opportunities to create everyday moments that will stay with them forever.
Conflict Resolution
Initially, I feared that sharing a room would create too many conflicts. However, I’ve come to realize that handling these disputes is an essential life lesson. Yes, someone will grab another’s things, and sometimes they’ll just need their own space. Learning to establish boundaries and advocate for their needs is invaluable. They may not have mastered it yet, but they’re getting plenty of practice.
Decluttering Skills
Sharing a small space means the boys must be selective about what they keep. I’ll admit I’ve done my fair share of “cleaning out” their toys while they’re not around, but they’re also learning to let go of items they no longer cherish. Plus, their limited space encourages them to put their laundry away and tidy up those pesky Lego pieces.
Lessons in Humility
My children are gaining a deeper understanding of what it means to live simply. They may not have as much space as some kids do, but they’re also much more fortunate than many others who have far less. When I explained to my youngest that not all children receive gifts at Christmas, he was shocked by the unfairness. This revelation inspired him to declutter his toys and donate to those in need.
So, if you’re on the fence about having your kids share a room, go for it! The advantages significantly outweigh the potential downsides. Even the challenges taught my children about compromise, resilience, and the beauty of close relationships.
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In summary, sharing a room can be a transformative experience for siblings. It fosters bonding, creates lasting memories, teaches conflict resolution, encourages organization, and instills gratitude.