This winter, my partner and I took a bold step: we decided that our children (ages 3, 5, and 8) would not participate in organized sports. Cue the gasps! While we both have fond memories of our own athletic experiences—he with hockey and I with basketball—we’ve come to see things differently in our current fast-paced world.
We’ve noticed that sports have morphed into a specialization for older kids, while younger children are often inundated with back-to-back activities. Rather than fostering joy, these structured schedules can add stress, pulling families away from quality time together. It’s not that we oppose sports; rather, we recognize the need for balance. Research suggests that excessive activities without enough downtime can negatively impact children’s health.
The reality today is different from our childhoods. With demanding jobs and high stress levels, my husband and I are no exception. Studies reveal that children raised in high-pressure environments tend to experience increased mental health issues and diminished coping skills. To combat these trends, Stanford University’s Challenge Success initiative aims to promote family time and downtime, advocating for what they call “PDF” (playtime, downtime, and family time). Denise Pope, one of the program’s founders and author of Overloaded and Underprepared, emphasizes that younger kids should enjoy as much free play as structured activities—something that seems hard to grasp in many communities.
Initially, when we skipped sports registration and began noting “free weekends” on our calendars, I felt a wave of anxiety. “Our kids are so energetic; they must need sports!” I thought. However, the world didn’t end. Instead, we found a newfound sense of calm. On Friday evenings, we traded frantic rushes to basketball for cozy family time playing foosball, while I browsed through my new cookbook for dinner ideas. Instead of shuttling kids around on Saturday mornings, we packed for a spontaneous mini-ski trip, enjoying the freedom that our decision offered.
Right now, as I sit in our hotel room listening to my husband’s soft snores and the pitter-patter of little feet, I appreciate this lack of pressure. Tomorrow, we’ll swim and ski without the stress of scheduled activities looming over us. Sports are not off our radar entirely; they hold value, but we must remain vigilant in prioritizing free time and carefully weigh the benefits of additional commitments. Just because everyone else is signing up for spring soccer and lacrosse doesn’t mean we have to follow suit. This winter has been a refreshing start for us, focusing on what matters most—time together.
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In summary, prioritizing downtime over organized sports has brought my family closer together, allowing us to enjoy our time without the pressures of structured activities. Balancing fun and relaxation can lead to healthier and happier kids.