The Unsettling Comments Mixed-Race Parents Shouldn’t Have to Hear

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By: Mia Thompson

When I discovered I was expecting, I knew my journey into parenthood would be filled with surprises—not just because it was my first child, but also because my baby would be biracial. Despite society’s claims to be progressive, it’s still astonishing how people react to a mixed-race child. Since the 1970s, the number of individuals identifying as mixed race has been growing, yet the comments from outsiders often leave much to be desired.

I was aware that I might have a child with Caucasian features, which didn’t concern me. However, I was unprepared for the absurd remarks I’d receive. It seems that when a child is involved, people often abandon their social graces. While I’ve encountered plenty of shocking comments as a new parent, those directed at my son are particularly amusing—and sometimes downright bewildering.

To give you a clearer picture, my son has fair skin. If you saw us apart, you might not realize he has a Black mother. As he’s grown, he’s developed a bit of a tan, yet his features lean towards his white heritage. This has led to some eye-opening experiences. For instance, when I took him out with my white friend, people consistently addressed her about him, completely ignoring me. When she mentioned I was the mother, their confusion was palpable. Another time, at a fast-food restaurant, the cashier peeked into his carrier and exclaimed, “Is he yours?” When I affirmed, she added, “But he’s so white!” To which I cheerfully replied, “He takes after his dad.”

That’s become my standard response. While I’ve faced my fair share of borderline offensive comments, the most common question is, “Are you really his mom?” At times, I’ve thought of saying I’m just his babysitter for a laugh. Recognizing I’m not alone in this, I reached out to fellow moms of mixed-race children to share their experiences. Here’s a compilation of what they’ve encountered:

1. Sarah, mom to teens aged 14 and 17: “I always thought they looked so exotic!”
2. Laura, with sons aged 8 and 5, finds herself explaining genetics when asked, “Where did they get their blonde hair?!” Her husband is half-Asian and half-Irish, while both of them have darker hair.
3. Bella, mom to a 3-year-old daughter: “Mixed kids are just so beautiful.”
4. Tasha, who has children aged 20, 16, 13, 11, and 3 months, often hears from her side, “They’re so pale!” and from her in-laws, “I wish I could have that tan year-round.” Discussions about their kids’ skin tones can become exhausting.
5. Jessica, with kids aged 4 and 8 months, has heard remarks suggesting that mixed-race families symbolize a brighter future where race becomes irrelevant. While she understands the good intentions behind these comments, she wishes people would think before they speak.
6. Clara, mom to a 3-year-old son: “Did he just call you Mom?!” Yes, it happens.
7. Vanessa, mom to kids aged 3 and 10 months: “Who do they like better, their Black or white relatives?”
8. Lisa, with twin boys aged 3: “They have such amazing hair!”
9. Julia, who has a 6-year-old son: “How kind of you to adopt!”
10. Anita, mom to a 5-year-old: “He’s not too dark…”

We understand that our families may not adhere to traditional norms, and we appreciate curiosity. However, there are tactful ways to inquire about our experiences. Our children are not objects of fascination due to their mixed heritage; they are simply kids, and we are just parents. If you’re interested in learning more about topics related to home insemination, check out this excellent resource for additional insights. And for those looking to explore further, you can read about home insemination kits for helpful information. If you want to connect with us, feel free to reach out here.

In conclusion, while mixed-race families may challenge societal conventions, it’s crucial to approach the subject with respect and understanding. Our children are just as unique and wonderful as any other.