It really doesn’t matter how your baby enters the world. I say this from a place of experience—nearly two decades of parenting have taught me that many of the concerns I once held were trivial. One of those concerns, which weighed heavily on my mind back then, was the method of my children’s births.
My Journey Begins
My journey began with my first son, who was delivered 19 years ago via an emergency C-section. I felt as though I had been blindsided by biology. The experience left me feeling deflated, as if I were a fish filleted on a table. It contradicted every instinct I had as a woman, and all the preparation I had done with my husband and our gentle childbirth educator.
In the moment, I was oblivious to the fact that the C-section had saved both my son’s life and my own. Instead of gratitude, I was consumed by feelings of guilt and inadequacy. Every time I encountered another mother’s story of natural childbirth—those serene, picturesque scenarios—I felt like a failure. I cursed my body for what I perceived as its shortcomings.
Navigating New Motherhood
Navigating new motherhood was already challenging enough—dealing with mastitis (who knew breasts could get infections?)—but the added burden of feeling like I had failed before I even started was overwhelming. After a failed VBAC attempt with my second son, the guilt lingered, though my busy life with two toddlers left little time for introspection. Yet, I still felt the weight of inadequacy, and the fact that I had to “confess” to others that both my children were born via C-section felt frustrating.
When asked why I’d had C-sections, I found myself starting my answers with phrases like, “I couldn’t…” or “My body didn’t…” It was always my fault, my fault, my fault.
A Profound Realization
Over time, I came to realize something profound. Those naturally delivered babies still have tantrums, throw peas, and struggle with spelling tests, just like the ones who were brought into the world through surgical means. The manner of entry into this world truly doesn’t define them.
I know this because my son’s college application didn’t include a question about whether he was delivered vaginally or by C-section. His job applications won’t ask either, and I’ve yet to see a resume that includes how someone came into this world. When I look at the trophies and certificates displayed at home, there’s no award that says, “Born Drug-Free” or “Delivered Naturally.” And adoptive parents? I can’t imagine they care one bit about the specifics of birth—what matters is the love they share with their children.
Embracing Confidence
By the time my third son was born through a scheduled C-section, I walked into that hospital with confidence, not a hint of guilt or doubt in my mind. I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude instead. Surrounded by a skilled medical team, I high-fived the nurses and doctors who all shared the same mission: to safely deliver my baby. In those moments before my son arrived, I didn’t dwell on feelings of failure. I simply thought, “Thank you!”
A Final Thought
If you’re navigating the complexities of pregnancy and motherhood, remember this: how your baby comes into the world is far less important than the love and care you provide as a parent. For more insights on this journey, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, it’s clear that the method of delivery holds little significance in the grand scheme of parenting. The important thing is the love and support you give to your child, no matter how they entered your life.