Image Credit: Alexey Pankratov / Shutterstock
Lately, I’ve been carrying a heavy weight in my heart. I know that sharing this might stir some debate, but please understand it’s not my aim to cast judgment. I simply want to uplift us all. So, let’s talk about it, shall we? We are enough!
In recent years, we’ve made strides in empowering ourselves. We’ve taken a stand against body-shaming on social media, encouraging mothers to be part of the picture and sharing selfies for the #NoMakeupMovement. Yet, my social media feeds are flooded with posts from friends in direct sales, promoting ways to shed inches from our bodies or reduce wrinkles. It leaves me questioning, “Am I truly enough?”
I genuinely care for these friends, and I know their intentions are not to make anyone feel inferior. Having worked in direct sales for several years, I understand the drive behind it. It provided me with a chance to work from home while raising my kids. While it helped financially, I was fortunate enough to step back when it became overwhelming alongside my responsibilities as a full-time mom. For some, direct sales is a vital source of income, and I’m thrilled they’ve found a path that allows them to achieve goals, be part of a supportive community, and spend time at home with their children.
I’m not questioning the worth of what they’re selling or judging their customers. I respect the pursuit of self-improvement. If something makes you feel better about yourself, then go for it! It’s evident that these posts and products can motivate people positively.
However, I can’t ignore that there are women who struggle with the messages these posts convey. Some are grappling with eating disorders and body image struggles, holding themselves to unattainable standards. I, too, have my moments of doubt. As someone who fought hard to overcome body image issues in my youth, I know my worth is not defined by my physical appearance.
There’s a constant pressure to look younger and healthier, and these posts don’t help. I already exercise regularly, but I do it for the joy it brings me and the health benefits. Sure, I enjoy looking nice in a dress, but with three daughters at home, I don’t have the mental bandwidth to stress over it.
I don’t want my daughters to see me worrying about such things. I want them to witness me exercising and practicing self-care, but I don’t want them to grow up believing their bodies need to be “fixed” or “smoothed” as they age. I want fitness to be a way of life, not a path to achieving a specific look.
The same applies to my face. Aging is a natural part of life, and while some do it more gracefully than others, it can still be challenging to face those new lines that seem to appear overnight. Sure, I know there are effective regimens to help minimize these signs, but honestly—I don’t want to bother! I don’t want to wash my face twice daily. And more importantly, I don’t want to focus on reversing time. Every year I age represents another year I’ve been lucky enough to live, raise my children, and cherish my loved ones.
Recently, I started a conversation with my oldest daughter about beauty standards. Her fascination with princesses made me realize my role in shaping her perceptions. I provided her with the toys and films that fed this obsession, and now it’s time to correct course. I want to instill in her that true beauty comes from within and that kindness is what defines a person’s worth—not just a pretty dress on the wicked queen in Snow White.
As her mother, it’s my responsibility to set an example. I want her to see that beauty is more than flawless skin and youthfulness. While I’m not against a little moisturizer or makeup if it boosts my confidence, I remind myself of the time my husband fell in love with me at the beach, makeup-free. He once told me he’d rather gift me sunscreen than perfume because that’s what he values—our memories together in their most authentic form. And I value that too. So, I think I’ll pass on that wrinkle cream, thanks!
To my friends thriving in their businesses, I’m genuinely happy for you. I see how some of these products have positively impacted women, and I celebrate that success with you.
For those grappling with self-doubt when confronted with those before-and-after images—know that you are enough just as you are. And if you are confident in your own skin, then cheers to you. I’m right there with you.
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In summary, it’s essential to embrace ourselves as we are and not get lost in the noise of societal expectations. Let’s focus on self-love, self-improvement, and the beauty that comes with age and experience.