Rediscovering the Joy of Saying ‘No’ Through My Toddler’s Eyes

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“NO!” My little one beams as she declares it, almost like she’s sharing a delightful secret or sparking a long-lost memory. She pronounces the word with such clarity, and it bursts forth from her tiny lips with undeniable intent. Our exchanges these days unfold like this:

“Would you like some chicken?”
“No!”
“Shall we go downstairs?”
“No!”
“Time for a bath?”
“No!”

She relishes this newfound power to express her thoughts. Her lips curl around the word, and her brows furrow in determination. She even turns down things she enjoys, just to revel in the thrill of asserting herself:

“Do you want bananas?”
“No!”
“Would you like to play with Mommy?”
“No!”

It brings a smile to my face to witness her embrace the strength of that tiny word. Much like her mother, who was affectionately dubbed “Bossy Beth” during her childhood, she has no qualms about voicing her opinions. She proclaims it to the world, eagerly awaiting the echo of her own voice.

While many parents might gently discourage her assertiveness with comments like, “Be nice,” or try to negotiate with a hesitant “Yes?” I find hope in every “No!” she shouts. This year has shown me that this fearless spirit is essential. I celebrate the fact that she seems to possess an innate courage, a quality I thought I would have to instill in her. Perhaps, it will be the other way around.

Listening to her voice reminds me of my younger self, who also reveled in the power of saying no and being heard. Over the years, societal expectations have often pushed women and girls to do just the opposite: comply and stay silent. Her growing vocabulary inspires me to reclaim my own voice, and I’m determined to reintroduce the word “No!” into my life — to shout it confidently instead of nodding in silent agreement. This is not a year for passivity.

Embracing “No” will create space for what truly matters. Just last week, my baby girl’s favorite word was “Mama.” She repeated it incessantly, nearly 10,000 times a day, greeting me with a joyful chant of “Ma! Ma!” while clapping her tiny hands in excitement. I affectionately call her my biggest fan, right alongside her older sister.

Reclaiming the power of “No!” allows me to prioritize time for these two little ones and manage the myriad responsibilities of being a mother, wife, and business owner. It grants me the freedom to choose how I spend each day, a choice I shouldn’t feel guilty about. Saying “no” is a kindness to ourselves, enabling us to hear our own voice again and follow its guidance. It’s a way to protect our most cherished priorities from getting lost in life’s chaos.

We often think of discovery as seizing every opportunity, but sometimes it’s about being discerning. Rediscovering the joy of “No” is crucial in adulthood, especially for mothers. Our happiness relies on it.

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In summary, my toddler’s fearless use of the word “No!” has reignited my understanding of its importance. It’s a reminder that asserting oneself is vital, and reclaiming this simple word can lead to empowerment and clarity in our busy lives.