Let’s be real: periods are the worst. After blissfully avoiding Aunt Flo for two years, she decided to crash my party again, thanks to my waning nursing relationship with my youngest. And wow, she’s back with a vengeance! I’d honestly consider nursing forever just to skip periods altogether. Hand me all the babies, and I’ll be their personal milk factory!
As if we women don’t have enough on our plates with pregnancy, childbirth, and the constant responsibility of raising tiny humans. After sacrificing our bodies for these little miracles, we get rewarded with cramps that feel like a freight train running through our midsections and the constant worry of bleeding through our pants. It hardly seems fair, does it?
Here are just a few reasons this monthly inconvenience drives me up the wall:
- Insatiable Hunger
I’m trying to keep my body in check, but during my period, all I want to do is eat everything in sight! Seriously, just hand me the chocolate and wine before someone gets hurt. - The Blood
Let’s talk about the fact that our bodies decide to expel what feels like an internal meltdown. Why must it be so messy? It’s like shark week gone horribly wrong. - Tampons
Oh, the irony of those cheerful tampon commercials. Women frolicking in pools with smiles because they’ve got “protection” is a total lie. The reality is far less glamorous. - Bathroom Confusion
I usually enjoy a good bathroom break, but when you can’t tell if that stomach ache is from cramps or the need to poop, it’s just too much. Plus, the constant struggle with tampons during this process? Ugh. - Mood Swings
I’m like a rollercoaster of emotions. One minute I’m crying over the lack of bananas, and the next, I’m ready to take on the world—or, you know, punch someone. - Forgotten Supplies
After not dealing with this for a while, I often forget to bring supplies into the bathroom. It’s infuriating to have to keep running back to grab a tampon when I should just be able to pee in peace. - Wardrobe Woes
Nothing fits right during this time, and even if it does, I’m mad at everything anyway. It’s a lose-lose situation. - Explaining to the Kids
As a mom, privacy is a luxury I rarely get. When I have to explain to my child that, “No, sweetie, mommy doesn’t have a penis; she has a vagina,” it adds another layer of awkwardness to an already uncomfortable situation.
The bloated belly, stained underwear, headaches, and body aches make me want to scream. Periods, it’s time for you to exit stage left. I’m over it!
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Summary:
Periods can be a frustrating and uncomfortable experience for many women. From insatiable cravings to mood swings, the monthly cycle often brings a host of challenges that can feel overwhelming. While there are solutions and resources available for those considering pregnancy and home insemination, it’s clear that periods themselves are not something most women look forward to.