Dear Partner,
I want you to know how much I love you. Truly, my affection runs deep. However, I need to be honest — I’m absolutely exhausted. I’m so worn out that I can’t even quantify my fatigue anymore. It’s just beyond comprehension. I’m drained, frazzled, and out of steam.
I feel like you’re looking at me as if I’ve landed from another planet. But I am a working mom, and that’s a unique club with its own set of challenges. I grapple with the guilt of not being at home with our kids every single day, like the “ideal” moms do.
I recognize that stay-at-home moms put in tremendous effort — their work is undeniably real and difficult. Yet, I find that my job feels like a miniature getaway, even though it’s demanding in its own right. I derive a sense of fulfillment and purpose from my career. I want our kids to see the value in hard work; it’s what I believe will make them stronger. Still, the guilt of not being present is a constant weight on my shoulders.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t see you as a bad husband or father — far from it! You’re among the best out there, my darling hero. But here’s the thing: while I don’t expect you to “fix” my exhaustion, there are practical ways you can help lighten my load.
When you see me juggling work papers, school bags, kids’ art projects, or grocery bags as I come in from the car, please lend a hand. And if you could keep track of your own keys and wallet, it would really help me out. Just little things like that can make a big difference.
I also want to share that I often feel lonely. Many of my friends are caught up in the same relentless grind as I am, leaving little room for social interaction. The days of spontaneous pedicure sessions and happy hours seem so far behind us. When we do manage to get together, it feels like a precious escape where we can just relax and be ourselves.
Please understand that this loneliness weighs on me, and I need a sense of community. Encourage me to nurture those friendships. Push me out of the house so I can experience a taste of freedom.
However, that means you’ll need to step in to take care of things while I’m out. I know you’ll want a to-do list, but honestly, I’m too exhausted to put one together. So, I’ll do my best to manage.
Please handle dinner for our little ones, bathe them, assist with homework, and lay out their outfits for school according to the schedule. Remember, no skirts on P.E. days! You’ll also need to tackle fun projects like building paper-mâché structures. And let’s not forget the all-important tasks of teeth brushing and bedtime stories. And yes, try to keep it all on schedule so they get the sleep they need! If not, we all pay the price with tired tantrums the next day.
After you’ve taken care of that, please clean up the kitchen, take care of the pets, and prepare lunches for the next day. If laundry has started to smell, a little extra rinse cycle will go a long way. I really can’t stand that mildew smell!
I’m aware that I have some control issues, and I’m trying to improve. I promise to do my best not to nitpick everything you managed while I was away. If you fed the kids a blend of mac and cheese and leftover spaghetti, I won’t complain! I appreciate all your efforts, and I know it’s not easy.
To sum it up, I feel overwhelmed and like I’m falling short in various aspects of my life. It’s tough to juggle everything with only 60% of my energy. I know that’s not great, and I could use some encouragement from you. Please remind me that I’m doing well in parenting, in my job, and as a partner in our family.
I look to you for support. Take care of me physically, too. I’m not just talking about intimacy (though I wouldn’t say no if the mood is right). A bubble bath now and then, a candle lit for ambiance, and a little time alone would mean the world to me. How about you create a relaxing environment while I try to unwind? I might just drift off before we even get to the romantic part!
I’d love to continue this conversation, but I have to dive back into my duties. There are runny noses to wipe, emails to check, and school projects to finish. The day may be long, but I’m committed to tackling it all.
Much love,
Your devoted working wife
For More Insights
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Summary
This letter highlights the emotional and logistical struggles faced by working moms while expressing a desire for support and understanding from their partners. It emphasizes the need for practical help, community, and encouragement in balancing the demands of work and family life.