As parents, we often hear about sleepless nights with infants or the challenges of raising teenagers, but the tween years can catch us off guard. These middle years—often defined by unpredictable moods and emotional shifts—are a unique challenge all their own. Tweens oscillate between moments of affection and the ability to slam doors with fervor, leaving parents bewildered.
Don’t worry, fellow parents! I’m here to share a 12-step program designed to help you navigate this awkward transitional phase.
Step 1: Acknowledge Your Loss of Control
Accept that your tween’s emotions can feel overwhelming and beyond your control. Repeat to yourself: “My child is still in there somewhere. I can feel it!”
Step 2: Seek Support from a Higher Power
In moments of confusion, turn to a greater source of wisdom. You might find yourself questioning, “What happened to my sweet child?” It’s okay to seek guidance and reassurance that you’ll find your footing again.
Step 3: Surrender to Your Tween’s Emotional Journey
Recognize that your tween is navigating a whirlwind of feelings. While it can be frustrating, try to embrace their emotional outbursts. When the day ends, scream into a pillow if you need to—it’s therapeutic!
Step 4: Reflect on Your Role
Consider how you might improve your approach. Unfortunately, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution, but recognizing the struggle is the first step. A little crying or a glass of wine can help, too.
Step 5: Avoid Self-Blame
Remind yourself you haven’t done anything wrong. Your once-adorable child may now believe they know everything, leaving you in the dust. Treat yourself to some chocolate as a pick-me-up.
Step 6: Pray for Patience
Ask for help in managing your tween’s challenging behaviors. You may find yourself pretending not to notice the clothes scattered all over the house or their constant need to borrow your phone to chat with friends.
Step 7: Request Communication
Encourage your tween to engage with you in a more constructive way. It’s okay to express your desire for normal conversations, even if they respond with eye rolls. Don’t forget to ask for hugs—they still appreciate them!
Step 8: Prepare for the Fallout
Make a list of everyone who might be affected by your tween’s mood swings. Friends, family, pets, and even household items may find themselves in the crossfire. Consider sending out some apologies or small gifts to ease any tensions.
Step 9: Make Frequent Apologies
Get ready to apologize often. Asking about their day or any other question might lead to frustration. It’s best to apologize for simply existing sometimes!
Step 10: Own Your Mistakes
Let’s face it: with a tween, you’re often in the wrong. Accept this as part of the parenting journey.
Step 11: Find Joy in the Chaos
Discover ways to keep your tween happy—whether it’s providing snacks or letting them blast their favorite tunes. Make sure to take time for yourself to stay balanced, too.
Step 12: Share Your Insights
Inform your friends that tweens can be just as challenging as the baby years. Let them know that parenting transforms during this phase, as you learn to step back and gauge when you can engage with them.
The tween years are merely a phase, just like anything else in parenting. You’ll make it through with a mix of snuggles, occasional gratitude, and, of course, chocolate! Remember, they still need you, even if they won’t admit it.
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Summary
Navigating the tween years can be challenging, but with a structured approach, you can survive this phase with humor and grace. Acknowledge the emotional turmoil, seek support, and share your experiences with other parents. Remember, it’s all part of the journey!