In our home, emotions run deep. While it’s not unusual for families to feel intensely, some days can be particularly challenging when everyone’s feelings peak simultaneously or fluctuate throughout the day. Personally, I’ve been experiencing quite a whirlwind of emotions lately. Whether it’s due to the effects of postpartum hormones, the demands of raising three toddlers, or simple exhaustion, there’s no single cause, and no quick fix. This situation has led me to reflect on how I handle my own feelings.
I tend to react with anger quickly, often raising my voice—a trait I’m not proud of. When I’m hurt, I tend to retreat into silence, feeling ashamed. The hectic pace of daily life often catches me off guard, making it hard to realize I could alleviate stress by simply saying “no” or adjusting my plans.
Watching my 2-year-old throw a tantrum, I came to a realization: I can’t just expect emotions to change instantly. Yet, I often find myself telling my children to “stop acting that way” or “change your mood,” without equipping them with the necessary tools to manage their responses.
When anger strikes, I sometimes feel justified in my frustration, grappling with disappointment and discontent. However, I can articulate those feelings, while my children struggle to do the same. Emotions can be challenging to measure and convey, impacting us in various ways. Kids experience these intense feelings too, but they do so in bodies and minds that are still developing, lacking the vocabulary and life experience to cope effectively.
Isn’t it my responsibility as a parent to guide them through understanding and processing these emotions? Shouldn’t I model healthy emotional reactions? While this may complicate motherhood, I believe it’s essential. We must help our children learn to embrace their emotions rather than suppress them, ensuring they can express themselves appropriately.
Recently, I had a conversation with a friend who pondered, “What’s the point of feeling angry if it doesn’t change the past or the future?” I can relate to that mindset. I often avoid confronting my feelings, steering clear of situations that might be affected by my honesty. However, children are unfiltered; they dive headlong into their emotions, drawing us into their whirlwinds of joy and disappointment. Their strong feelings can overwhelm their small hearts and minds.
I sometimes shy away from expressing my feelings, fearing I might be too much for others to handle. It’s tempting to discipline my kids for their reactions without allowing them the space to process their emotions. But emotions are not something to be ashamed of. They are not wrong or indicative of weakness. The only true mistake lies in how we respond. I can choose to communicate my anger to my partner or give him the silent treatment until he recognizes my hurt—both reactions stem from the same emotion, yet one feels more constructive than the other.
In our home, we have designated spaces for emotional expression. The couch is a safe haven for screams, while stuffed animals can fly across the room in frustration. Sometimes, I find a quiet corner in my room to cry or pray, taking a moment to regroup. We take the time to slow down, name our emotions, and understand their roots—not to suppress them, but to grow through the experience. This way, we can truly feel the highs and lows of life and embrace our passions.
I want my children to develop a healthy relationship with their emotions. By doing so, I hope they can navigate their worlds effectively, empowering them to influence their surroundings rather than being swayed by them.
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Summary
: In our household, we embrace the full spectrum of emotions. By allowing our kids to express their anger and frustration freely, we not only validate their feelings but also teach them how to process and articulate those emotions effectively. This approach helps them grow into emotionally intelligent individuals who can navigate their experiences with confidence.