5 Important Lessons My Mother’s Dementia Has Taught My Son

As a mother to a lively 6-year-old son and a caretaker for my 72-year-old mom, I find myself navigating a unique and challenging journey. My mother, who has been diagnosed with dementia for over two years, requires care that often resembles that of a child. Living together with my husband and our spirited dog, I constantly grapple with fears—fear of losing my mom completely, concern about my husband’s potential reactions, and, most importantly, worry about how my son is coping with these changes.

While it saddens me that my son witnesses the struggles of dementia, I am increasingly aware of the valuable lessons he absorbs from these experiences. At such a young age, he is grasping concepts that many adults may still be learning. Here are five significant lessons my mother, through her condition, imparts to my son each day.

1. Patience

Have you ever met a 6-year-old? They are not known for their patience! My son, being an only child, is used to getting attention without having to wait. However, since my mother’s condition requires immediate care, he is learning to be patient. Sometimes, he has to wait for the bathroom or meals while I ensure that my mother is comfortable and settled. Although it’s not easy for him, this lesson in patience will serve him well throughout life.

2. Kindness

Dementia often brings unexpected changes in mood and behavior. One morning, after a medication adjustment left my mother feeling particularly unsteady, my son instinctively followed us, pushing a chair to catch her if she fell. I didn’t prompt him to do this; it was his own thoughtful action. My heart ached for the reality he faced, but I also felt immense pride knowing he was capable of such kindness, putting his grandmother’s needs before his own.

3. Respect for Elders

Every one of us will grow old at some point, and I hope the younger generation will show me the same respect I strive to instill in my son. He learns to honor his grandmother daily by helping her with tasks like clearing plates and holding her hand for support. These gestures not only reinforce the importance of respect for elders but also highlight the value of compassion.

4. Acceptance

Accepting my mother’s illness has been a tough journey for me, and I wish for my son to embrace this change too. While my mother is no longer the vibrant woman she used to be, she is still his grandmother. I hope he continues to accept her as she is, learning that love remains unchanged even when circumstances shift.

5. Strength

Dementia impacts the entire family dynamic, and while I wish to shield my son from its harsh realities, I am continually amazed by his resilience. He can see his grandmother’s anxiety yet still engage joyfully in activities like building with Legos or playing soccer. His strength inspires me and reinforces my own courage in facing this challenge.

I may not be able to cure my mother’s condition or shield my son from its effects, but I find solace in knowing that each day provides an opportunity for growth and character development. I couldn’t be prouder of my son.

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Summary:

This article discusses the important life lessons a young boy learns while caring for his grandmother with dementia. The lessons include patience, kindness, respect for elders, acceptance of change, and the strength to cope with difficult situations. Through these experiences, the boy develops character traits that will benefit him throughout his life.