Not long ago, I took a good look around my home and noticed something striking: the only photo of myself on display was a black-and-white shot from my wedding day, taken 14 years ago. It captured me dancing with my husband—my back to the camera. Just one photo of me, and it didn’t even show my face.
I’ve never been fond of getting my picture taken. Unlike my sisters, I don’t consider myself photogenic, and as I grew older, I devised countless excuses to avoid the camera. I became an expert at focusing on anything but myself because I was always critiquing my appearance—my smile, my hair, my nose, my thighs. The list goes on.
I convinced myself that if I didn’t want to see my own face, surely no one else would want to either. Because of this, I missed out on capturing precious moments with my kids during holidays and special occasions. I was the one behind the camera for their first birthdays, first days of school, and more. If you were to flip through their baby books, you’d find that I was completely absent. Sure, there were some pictures of me from when they were born, but those were taken by others and tucked away in a drawer, forgotten. I was so focused on my kids that I didn’t feel worthy of being in a photo myself.
Then, two years ago, I stumbled upon a beautiful woman on social media—someone I didn’t know personally. She posted a candid selfie for her 40th birthday, sans makeup and smile. Her long braids cascaded down her chest, and she bravely shared her insecurities along with the photo. I found myself drawn to her image, noticing none of the flaws she saw in herself. It resonated with me deeply.
After being a mother for nearly 12 years, I realized how ridiculous it was to let my self-image prevent me from being part of my children’s memories. If I couldn’t love myself, how could I expect others to? We all have our insecurities, but true beauty lies in embracing ourselves—imperfections and all. I may not fit society’s standards of beauty, but life is happening now, and I want my children to remember that I was there, living in the moment.
We tend to fixate on what we perceive as our flaws—wishing for a better body, longer legs, or perfect hair. When I see your picture, I see you as a whole person, not just a collection of features. You are vibrant and full of life, and I wish you could see that in yourself too.
So, go ahead! Take that selfie. Snap a picture with your kids, whether you’re dressed up or in your pajamas. Capture those moments, even if you have to ask someone to take it for you. People love to see authentic moments, and that’s what life is all about—even if you’re wearing no makeup and your hair is in a messy bun.
Let’s stop viewing ourselves as fragmented parts and begin to see the beauty of who we are as a whole. When I look at your photos, I see YOU, and I want to celebrate that. By sharing your true self, you might just help another woman recognize her own worth.
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In summary, it’s time to stop being our own critics and start embracing the beautiful moments of our lives. Capture them with love and share them with the world. You never know who you might inspire along the way.