My sister, Lisa, is my go-to support for maintaining sanity in parenting. Though she’s the younger sibling by 19 months, she has always hit major milestones first—whether it was her first kiss, getting her period, or starting a family. Despite being the younger one, I constantly lean on her for wisdom in navigating the challenges of motherhood. With her youngest child only a year older than my oldest, she’s usually the first to encounter various parenting hurdles. I honestly don’t know how I would cope without her insights.
Sure, I might manage, but I would probably be a lot more anxious and resemble a character from a horror movie without someone to confide in during my moments of distress.
I believe every mom requires a trusty ally. While I’m particularly fond of sisterly relationships, not everyone has that option. A supportive friend can serve as your lifeline, someone to help ground you and steer you away from impulsive reactions fueled by exhaustion, fear, or stress. Importantly, this person should not be your partner; every mom needs a sounding board who isn’t directly involved.
A couple of years ago, my daughter faced some typical girl drama at school. Naturally, my first instinct was to contact the other parent and explain why their child was being a brat. Thankfully, I opted to call Lisa instead.
I vented about how the other child was tormenting my sweet daughter, who could do no wrong in my eyes. I was ready to confront the other parent, thinking I was doing them a favor by highlighting their child’s misbehavior.
But Lisa stepped in just in time. She reminded me that my daughter was only in second grade and that the situation didn’t warrant such a drastic response. “Don’t reach out to the other parent. This is normal,” she advised. “Last year, we handled a similar situation by role-playing what H could say and do to navigate the conflict.”
Role-playing? That was a new strategy for me! I was grateful for her guidance, which kept me from jeopardizing my friendship with another mom over a minor issue that was just part of growing up.
Over the years, I’ve turned to Lisa for all sorts of advice—whether I’m overreacting or if my child might need professional help or just a little extra love. Everyone needs an ally who can provide support and validate their feelings, reminding them that it’s perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed at times.
Here are some qualities to seek in your trusted parenting partner:
- Validation: Find someone who understands that it’s okay to have moments of frustration with your kids. They can empathize, having dealt with their own challenges.
- Reality Check: You’ll need someone to bring you back down to earth when you start planning that elaborate Pinterest-inspired birthday party, complete with handmade decorations and themed goody bags.
- Perspective: A good ally will gently remind you that your kids are not perfect. Lisa loves my kids, but she’s also quick to point out that they can be a handful, just like every child.
- Self-Care: Your ally should help you remember that it’s perfectly acceptable to take a break from the kids without feeling guilty. Bonus points if you can escape together for a little pampering!
- Listening Ear: They’ll listen as you vent about the trials and tribulations of parenting, validating your feelings even when you’re indulging in a pint of ice cream.
- Judgment-Free Support: A true ally knows when to say, “I’m not sure. I haven’t been through that,” and simply offer their sympathy without any judgment.
- Practical Help: They should be the one you can call last minute when you need someone to watch your kids or help you out in a pinch.
- Unwavering Support: If you find yourself in a crisis, like being sick on the bathroom floor, you should be able to count on them to step in without hesitation.
A reliable ally will also help you see when you’re being irrational or overly dramatic. And the beauty of it is: deep down, you know they’re right, and it won’t even make you mad.
I’m convinced that motherhood isn’t meant to be a solitary journey. We need to uplift one another and remind ourselves of the essential truths about parenting. Kids can indeed be a handful while still managing to be adorable, and it’s perfectly okay to feel like you need to escape from it all occasionally. That’s just part of the parenting gig.
Looking for more insights? Check out our other blog post on privacy policies or explore resources on pregnancy for additional support. And if you’re considering home insemination, visit Make a Mom for expert information!
In summary, having a parenting ally can make all the difference in navigating the ups and downs of motherhood. From providing practical advice to being a shoulder to cry on, their support is invaluable.