Strong women: may we know them, may we be them, and may we raise them.
I am a strong woman, proud to be shaped by a resilient mother, and I certainly aspire to raise strong individuals. However, my journey is a bit different. Instead of raising a daughter, I am nurturing two boys. As they grow, the world will attempt to define the kind of men they will become, and I am determined to guide them in dismantling the patriarchy.
When I first met their father, he was fresh from a small conservative town. At the time, I was immersed in my psychology studies, exploring topics in women’s studies and sexual diversity. By our third date, we had delved into discussions surrounding white privilege, LGBTQ rights, and affirmative action—conversations that were quite progressive for him. His open-mindedness allowed these discussions to flourish, and it’s safe to say my passion for social issues made an impact. Fast-forward nearly two decades, and we find ourselves raising two boys together.
After years of engaging in conversations about equality, my partner—who once had little awareness of race or feminism—used his frequent flyer miles to send me to Washington, D.C., to march for civil rights and liberties. He even took time off work to care for our boys, stepping into his role as a parent without hesitation. He is my ally in this endeavor, passionate about our shared values that extend beyond ourselves.
Participating in the Women’s March was an electrifying experience. It began as a response to the misogyny prevalent in leadership but evolved into a powerful movement advocating for civil liberties and climate action. Amidst the rallying cries for reproductive rights and against the objectification of women, I felt a profound connection to the collective female spirit.
Yet my motivation to march wasn’t solely rooted in my identity as a woman. The two boys I am raising, along with my supportive partner, inspired me to continue forward. While I don’t feel the absence of a daughter, I do carry the immense responsibility of raising sons who will actively resist patriarchal norms. Now, more than ever, we need boys who will grow into men willing to stand up against injustice, even when their privilege shields them from its effects.
I aim to raise my boys to be better than the politicians who belittled women’s rights activists, to challenge derogatory “locker room talk,” and to recognize that women are their equals—whether in leadership, education, or healthcare. I want them to understand that our nation’s strength lies in its diversity and opportunities for everyone.
My hope is that they will recognize their privilege and learn that just because something isn’t a problem for them, it doesn’t mean it isn’t a problem for others. I’m teaching them to use their male privilege for good, to advocate for what’s right instead of what’s easy. One day, as they navigate the world, I want them to be the ones who challenge the status quo from within.
Recently, I spoke with my eldest son’s principal, who mentioned he expressed pride in my activism. That night, as I tucked him in, he told me I was brave. Our children are witnessing the injustices around them, but they are also observing us fight back. They saw millions join together for women’s rights and equal opportunities, and they are inspired by leaders who courageously speak out against injustice.
As we look ahead, it’s vital to recognize that our actions matter. I hope that in 2024, my ballot will feature a woman’s name, but I cannot help but feel a sense of doubt. The choice our country made reflects a lack of readiness to fully dismantle the patriarchy. Until that day comes, I will continue to promote the values of strong women while raising my boys to stand alongside us in this fight.
Strong women, may we know them, may we be them, and may we raise men strong enough to march alongside us and help dismantle the patriarchy together.
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Summary:
In this piece, Sarah Mitchell explores her journey of raising two boys to be allies in the fight against patriarchy. Drawing from her experiences and discussions with her partner, she emphasizes the importance of teaching her sons about equality, responsibility, and the value of diversity. By participating in movements for women’s rights, she hopes to inspire her children to challenge injustice and support women’s empowerment in their futures.