Growing up, my father was rarely home due to his busy schedule running a restaurant. His time off was often spent sleeping or glued to the news, leaving my mother to handle most of the hands-on parenting. We knew he cared for us, but it was our mom who cooked, cleaned, and took us to our activities, tucking us in at night.
I vividly recall a moment when I was about nine years old, riding alone in the car with my dad after he picked me up from a friend’s house. It felt unusual, a stark contrast to my husband today, who, despite working over 60 hours a week, is much more involved with our children than my father ever was. This history might be why I felt compelled to comment “Incredible!” on a photo shared by the blogger Dad Life Chronicles on Instagram, showing him vacuuming while cradling his baby in a carrier. He simply replied, “Nah, just being a dad.” This interaction sparked my thoughts about our possibly outdated perceptions of fatherhood.
A week later, I came across another image shared by Dad Maker on Facebook. In it, he skillfully navigated a grocery store with a full cart and a stroller carrying twins. His caption read, “Just me and the girls at the store—heads were turning! They had never seen anyone handle a cart and stroller with such finesse. Never send a woman to do a man’s job.” He noted that while his wife often faces scrutiny over how she dresses their daughters, he receives compliments just for being present.
Dads frequently find themselves in similar situations, earning praise for tasks that often go unnoticed when performed by mothers. One father shared that when he took his son out, people would commend him for being a great dad, leaving him to wonder why such ordinary actions garnered applause.
While I appreciate dads for taking on roles like packing a diaper bag or going out solo with their young kids, I can see how this might imply low expectations. Complimenting a man for simply parenting can suggest that men aren’t innately as capable or invested in child-rearing as women. It’s not that I doubt men’s abilities; it’s just that, in my experience, they are rarely seen in action. My husband is loving and dedicated, but I often manage the diaper changes and meal prep due to our assigned roles.
When I see men doing household chores like washing dishes or folding laundry, I’m genuinely impressed—not because I think they can’t do it, but because they’re breaking away from traditional norms. They’re stepping up to create a more balanced home life and challenge outdated gender roles. I compliment these dads not out of surprise, but because I find their willingness to challenge the status quo inspiring.
It’s important to note that we shouldn’t stop recognizing fathers’ efforts. We need to shift our expectations: it’s time to stop viewing men as clueless and women as natural caregivers. We should celebrate those fathers who take time off work to care for their children without making it a spectacle. We must also stop calling a dad with his kids “babysitting,” as fathering is not merely “giving Mom a break.”
Instead of lowering standards for mothers or raising them for fathers, let’s acknowledge the daily victories of both. Parenting is tough work, whether it’s changing countless diapers or enduring endless cries. We spend hours at playgrounds, not for our enjoyment, but for our kids’ happiness.
Both moms and dads deserve equal recognition and support. Let’s lessen the pressure on mothers to do it all and remove the element of surprise when dads step up. By tearing down gender stereotypes, we allow everyone to connect and express their authentic selves. We should hold everyone to the same standard and remind all parents, “You’re doing a great job!”
In summary, celebrating dads for their parenting efforts is not about lowering expectations but rather recognizing the shared responsibilities of parenthood. Both mothers and fathers contribute significantly to their children’s lives, and acknowledging these efforts fosters a more balanced view of parenting.
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