For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been on the heavier side. It wasn’t that I was unhealthy; I just had a larger build. I made efforts to brush it off, but deep down, it weighed heavily on my mind. Everything changed when my daughter, Lily, came into my life.
At one point, I found myself tipping the scales at over 200 pounds, wearing a size 16. The thought of being plus-sized was daunting. I worried about not being able to keep up with Lily when she started to run around. I feared having to wear unflattering clothes from plus-sized retailers (though I now know they offer stylish options). The thought of my husband finding me unattractive and society’s judgment loomed large.
Determined, I began to exercise and eat healthier, and soon enough, I dropped to 165 pounds on my 5-foot-6 frame. I felt stronger than ever, more flexible, and could easily outrun my friends. I loved the feeling of being fit and the joy of nourishing my body with healthy food.
But then life took a turn. Over the past three years, I gradually regained weight. My muscles weakened, my body became stiff, and I started to feel sluggish. The hardest part? Keeping up with my now 7-year-old daughter, who has a seemingly endless supply of energy.
Lily has noticed the changes and has begun to ask questions. “Why are you so much bigger than Dad?” she inquires. “Why is your tummy so squishy?” Her innocent curiosity extends to the dimples on my thighs and my stretch marks. While I’ve always embraced my body, I find it challenging to explain these changes to my daughter when I struggle to accept them myself.
How do I convey that the stresses of work, college, and family life have led me to neglect my own health? Or that some evenings, I simply lack the energy to exercise? I realize that these are my issues—ones a child shouldn’t have to grapple with.
Then comes the question that stings the most: “Why are you fat, Mommy?” In our household, “fat” isn’t a derogatory term; we strive to foster a culture of acceptance and self-love. Yet, I can’t help but feel that she might have picked up on my own negative self-talk. I am a person with body fat, and yes, I have quite a bit of it.
But why am I in this position? Should I tell her it’s a result of indulging in junk food? Or that binge-watching TV instead of exercising might have contributed? Should I mention my genetic predisposition to weight gain? No, because these are adult concerns, not something I want to burden her with. I certainly don’t want her to think that being overweight equates to being unhealthy.
Lily’s questions have prompted me to reflect on my own choices. I know what led to my weight gain, and I recognize that I’m unhappy with my current state. It’s not just about appearance; it’s about how I feel, and let’s be honest—I feel pretty lousy.
Her inquiries have ignited a spark within me: How can I get back in shape? What changes do I need to make? The answers are clear, and now it’s time to act. I want to set a positive example for Lily, live a healthier lifestyle, and keep up with her as she plays.
While it may seem like I’m being hard on myself, my priority is not my size but my health. With a family history of diabetes, heart disease, and other serious conditions, I understand the importance of taking care of myself. It’s vital to foster healthy habits for my future and for the sake of teaching Lily how to care for herself too.
As I embark on this journey toward better health, I am grateful for the support of my loved ones—friends, family, and especially my daughter—who inspire me to prioritize my well-being and remind me of my worth, no matter what size I am.
For more insights on health and family, check out this excellent resource: Resolve.org.
If you’re looking to explore more about home insemination options, visit Artificial Insemination Kit. Additionally, if you’re interested in learning different approaches to becoming a parent, reach out to Intracervical Insemination for helpful tips.
In summary, my daughter’s innocent questions about my size have inspired me to take charge of my health journey. I want to be fit not just for myself, but for her—so we can enjoy the playground together and create lasting memories.