Last week, I picked up my daughter, Mia, from basketball practice. As soon as she settled into the car, she sighed, “I think I need to lift weights. My arms are too skinny.” I glanced at her through the rear-view mirror, noticing the concern etched on her face. “Mia, your arms are just fine. Did someone say something, or is this how you feel?”
“No one said anything,” she replied, “but they just look so small. I really dislike them.” I could see tears welling up in her eyes as she tugged at her shirt sleeves. Perhaps a teammate had made a comment, or maybe she was comparing herself to others—a habit that many girls, unfortunately, fall into. This early self-doubt can lead to the damaging belief that being different means being inferior.
I’ve heard remarks about Mia’s body, like, “Does she even eat?” or “You should feed her more; she’s too skinny.” These comments, though often intended as jokes, are far from harmless. It’s time we challenge the hypocrisy that allows people to comment on a person’s thinness as if it’s a joke. Just as it would be unacceptable to suggest someone overweight should eat less, we must also stop the casual remarks about those who are slender.
Why do we allow the idea that telling someone they need to eat more is acceptable? Society has mistakenly normalized the idea that commenting on thinness is a compliment. Spoiler alert: it’s not. The laughter that follows such comments can be just as hurtful.
We need to collectively agree that making comments about anyone’s body, regardless of size, is inappropriate. This is particularly true for young girls who are just learning to embrace their bodies. We’ve all been there—ask anyone, regardless of gender.
Some may argue that I’m being overly sensitive, but the principle stands: women should not be ridiculed for their size, and the double standard surrounding “skinny” individuals needs to be addressed. It’s often seen as acceptable to tease these women, and they’re expected to accept such remarks as lighthearted banter. I find that unacceptable.
When someone makes a comment about Mia’s body due to her slimness, it’s akin to criticizing someone for being overweight. The notion that being thin equates to starving or suffering is a harmful stereotype that must be dismantled. There are plenty of women who are naturally slender, who maintain their health through lifestyle choices, and who love their bodies as they are.
It’s time to retire phrases like, “Real women have curves,” or “She needs a cheeseburger.” The definition of a “real woman” is not tethered to size or appearance. Real women understand their worth, embrace their unique bodies—whether they are slim, curvy, or anywhere in between—and show kindness rather than judgment towards others.
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Summary
The harmful practice of skinny-shaming is a real issue that needs to be addressed. Just as comments about being overweight are unacceptable, so too are remarks about being too thin. We must support body positivity for everyone, no matter their size, and foster an environment where self-worth is not tied to appearance.