As a mom, there are countless expectations placed upon you. You comfort your kids, prepare their meals, read their favorite stories, and handle the never-ending messes. You’re the one who wipes away tears, cleans up spills, and picks up toys, dishes, and anything else that needs attention. It can feel like a full-time job just keeping the household in order. But one day, I stopped and thought, “Enough is enough.”
Instead of striving for a pristine home, I chose to focus on raising three joyful kids. No longer would I follow them around, shouting, “Who’s going to clean this up?” because the answer was always me, and that was exhausting. Threatening to donate their toys only led to tears and chaos, so I made a conscious decision to lighten my cleaning load.
Sure, I still tidy up, but I’ve let go of the need to maintain a spotless home. I’ve adopted the mindset of many wise mothers before me: clean only what absolutely needs to be done and forget about the rest.
At first, this required a shift in my thinking. We’ve all been conditioned by the idealized image of the perfect homemaker, complete with heels and bright lipstick. I had to banish that notion from my mind. I started repeating to myself, “It’s okay if your house is messy.” I embraced the truth that having kids means having a bit of chaos. My home reflects our life, and that’s perfectly fine.
Take my son’s stuffed animals, for instance. They’re everywhere—sadly neglected yet essential to his imaginative play. I could force him to organize them, but they’d just end up as fort-building materials anyway. So, I’ve learned to accept their scattered state, knowing they serve a purpose in his world.
When you visit my home, you might wonder why there’s laundry piled in the kitchen. The truth is, I wash, dry, and sort it into baskets, but they often sit there instead of going into drawers. I won’t apologize for that; we’re busy living our lives.
The bath toys? They’ll stay in the tub until I can’t find a clean spoon and have to resort to plastic. The crayon marks on the walls? They’re a testament to creativity that I’ve learned to embrace. Dusting? I’ll save that for the rare occasion my mother visits.
I’ve decided to let the mail accumulate on the table until absolutely necessary. It’s like the stuffed animals of paperwork. I’ve come to accept that cleaning can consume my time and energy, and I refuse to let it define my life. Yes, there will be books on the floor, shoes strewn about, and dishes in the sink. You’re welcome to visit, and you can judge if you wish. However, I promise you it’s all sanitary, and we’re all happy here. My home may be untidy, but I refuse to feel ashamed about it.
If you’d like to read more about navigating life’s messy moments, check out this post on home insemination. For couples embarking on their fertility journey, Make a Mom is an excellent resource. Plus, Women’s Health offers invaluable information on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, I’ve traded the pursuit of a clean house for a joyful family life. Embracing the mess has freed me from the stress of unrealistic expectations, allowing us to thrive as a family.