As I stood in the kitchen scrolling through Facebook in search of a babysitter for Valentine’s Day, my 7-year-old daughter, Lily, erupted into a fit of frustration. It’s amusing how, as a parent, you learn to recognize your child’s unique sounds. Lily wasn’t hurt or in trouble; she was just overwhelmed. The same high-pitched wail she emitted when struggling with a homework assignment echoed through the house.
This time, her meltdown was triggered by her inability to peel the temporary Princess Sofia tattoos from the overpriced Valentine’s cards we had just bought at the store. She wanted to do it independently but ended up tearing apart half of the box. By the time I rushed to her room, she was sprawled on her bed, red-faced and kicking her legs, completely losing it.
While I calmed her down and helped with the Valentines, my phone lit up with messages from teenagers who had already committed to babysitting for someone else that day. It hit me—I was simply too late to secure a sitter.
Such is the reality of Valentine’s Day for parents with young kids. Back in college, I worked at a local restaurant, and I remember dreading Valentine’s Day for a couple of reasons. First, tables of two didn’t tip nearly as well as larger groups, and second, couples lingered at their tables, lost in each other’s eyes, making it awkward for me to approach them.
I used to chuckle at how ridiculous those couples seemed, thinking it was all a commercialized holiday designed to make people spend. But now, as a parent in my thirties, I completely understand the desire to have a romantic evening with my wife, Sarah. Just the two of us, enjoying a meal together, would be wonderful. However, in the decade since we’ve had kids, we’ve only managed to go out for Valentine’s Day two or three times.
We don’t live close to family, and our kids can be a handful, so when we finally do find a sitter, we often feel rushed out the door, concerned for the babysitter’s patience. I know this will change; soon enough, my eldest son will be old enough to look after his younger siblings. And while I recognize we could celebrate a few days before or after, it just doesn’t feel as special.
I can already imagine someone reading this, eager to offer me a solution in the comments, but honestly, I just want to vent about the challenge of trying to be a romantic partner and a devoted dad on Valentine’s Day.
After I calmed Lily down and helped her separate her Valentines, she excitedly shared stories about her friends at school who would be giving her special cards with the cutest temporary tattoos. Then she looked at me and said, “Close your eyes, Daddy.”
I’ve learned to be cautious when my children ask me to close my eyes, often leading to some sticky surprise. Yet, I complied as usual. After a moment, she said, “Okay, you can open them now.”
She proudly handed me one of her special Valentines, where she had written “Love you Dad.” Her missing front tooth added to her adorable gap-toothed smile, and as I looked at her, my initial disappointment about not finding a sitter for Valentine’s Day faded away.
I thought about my wife and the love surrounding me. While this holiday may not align perfectly with my ideal vision right now, it still holds significance. It’s a chance to express love for those who matter most, and Lily grasped that perfectly. Of course, I still hoped for something special with my wife. But it was time to shift my focus from frustration to the love that filled our home.
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In summary, while finding a babysitter for Valentine’s Day can be a challenge, the love of family is the most important celebration. Embracing the little moments can turn a frustrating situation into something heartwarming.