I vividly recall the moment I shared my wedding news with colleagues; one of them exclaimed, “Oh, how wonderful that you’ve found your soulmate!” I paused, pondering the term “soulmate.” I struggled to align that concept with my soon-to-be husband’s image. Had I made a mistake? Was there someone out there meant for me, while I was about to wed someone I couldn’t truly envision as my soulmate?
For days, I felt a cloud of doubt hanging over me. My fiancé, Alex, noticed something was off and asked repeatedly, but I brushed it aside. I started nitpicking his habits—like how he slurped his coffee or grunted while laughing—and I worried my initial instinct was right: perhaps he wasn’t my soulmate.
Determining Your Soulmate
So, how do you even determine if your partner is your soulmate? Is it about never disagreeing? Is it endless bliss? Do you hear violins when you see each other, and does everything feel like it’s in slow motion? If you’ve experienced even a sliver of that, you’re one of the lucky few. Most, like me, don’t. Despite the seeds of doubt sown by that well-meaning colleague, I went ahead and married Alex. Now, four years later, do I consider him my soulmate?
No, and that’s perfectly fine. We get along well and share a connection, but let’s be real: romance isn’t the centerpiece of our lives. Most of our discussions revolve around grocery lists and meal planning—very relatable for anyone in a long-term relationship. It’s not that the spark has faded; it’s just that we prioritize practicality over perpetual romance.
The Reality of Relationships
If you’re expecting your married life to be a constant firework show, you might be disappointed. Most of the excitement, I can assure you, will unfold in the kitchen. This doesn’t mean we lack chemistry; rather, it reflects a shift towards a more realistic view of companionship.
Love certainly doesn’t come with a manual. It doesn’t mean being polished and perfect every moment your partner is around. The idea of soulmates feels too idealistic for real life. It’s unrealistic to think you can make each other happy all the time. You’ll mess up, annoy each other, and yet choose to stick around. No couple is a flawless match, and your partner may well find happiness with someone else. But they choose you—not because you’re soulmates, but because you are uniquely you.
Why I Choose to Stay
So, why am I still with Alex if I don’t see him as my soulmate? Because he does thoughtful things, like slipping an apple into my bag when I skip breakfast, or quietly tiptoeing around in the morning so I can sleep a little longer. These actions might not scream romance, but they show partnership.
What good are roses and sweet nothings when I need help tidying up the house? A successful relationship is one where you can laugh at each other’s quirks and feel comfortable enough to be yourself—even in pajamas with a messy bun.
So yes, I’m not with a soulmate, but with a husband who helps me without any fuss. He might not write me poetry, but his playful teasing makes me smile. The reality is that you can’t rely on the fairytale notion of happily ever after. Relationships require work, patience, and a willingness to embrace imperfections.
The Overhyped Nature of Romance
Romance is often overhyped, while the comfort found in everyday life can be overlooked. And that’s why, my friends, the whole idea of soulmates is simply nonsense!
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Summary
The concept of marrying your “soulmate” is often romanticized but can be misleading. Real relationships are built on practicality, comfort, and genuine partnership rather than a fairytale ideal. Understanding and accepting imperfections can lead to a fulfilling bond.