Dear Busy Mom in the Grocery Store,
I noticed you. Choosing Lunchables? Really? I heard your little one begging for popsicles while you sifted through the freezer, asking for their preference. As you strolled out of the store with your growing child nestled in the cart, bombarding you with questions, I witnessed you pause, close your eyes, and take a deep breath before responding with “Just…because. That’s how it is.” I saw you. I relate to you.
I am you.
There seems to be an unspoken expectation that moms should always be “on.” This idea has seeped into our daily lives, leading to the relentless shaming often seen in the so-called mommy wars. As imperfect beings, when we make mistakes, we feel pressured to keep them hidden. And if we dare share any missteps, we must cloak them in a veil of remorse and personal growth.
When I penned my piece, “Dear Mom Who is Totally Messing Up,” it was intended as a realistic touchstone, a note of camaraderie for every mother out there. But, of course, the internet responded with a classic remedy for perceived failures: Stop being so lazy.
I transformed into a whirlwind of frustration, sadness, defensiveness, and irritation, emotions that often plague writers who brave the comments section. But here’s the truth: I’m not lazy! I’m just tired! I’m overwhelmed! And okay, fine, maybe I’m a bit lazy sometimes.
Here’s my personal growth moment: I’ve embraced my laziness. I’ve made it my mission to be lazy more effectively. In fact, some of the best memories my child has made can be traced back to those moments when I chose the easy route.
Just the other evening, she threw a surprise party for me—just because she thinks I’m pretty great. The celebration culminated in her giving me a pedicure right in the hallway. I reclined on the floor, hands behind my head, relishing this bonding moment. Honestly, I was just really, really tired.
Remember the time she went wild in the mud by the lake, covering herself from head to toe while pretending to be a sea monster? Sure, I knew I’d regret it later when it was time for cleanup, but I figured Future Me could handle it.
When my toddler overturned the dog’s water dish, I simply laid down a towel and handed him some cups and spoons, along with a fresh bowl of water. I’m sure he’s learning something valuable—meanwhile, I just wanted to get dinner ready!
When anxiety creeps in, I often morph into the “no” monster, squashing all fun because it might lead to a mess. But when I allow myself to surrender to the laziness of “I’ll handle this later,” it paves the way for cherished memories, ones my kids will likely look back on fondly.
Sure, there are days when my laziness manifests in less constructive ways, like the dreaded “because I said so” moments. Yet, more often than not, my lazy side and creativity intertwine like mixed play-dough that I was too worn out to keep separate.
One day, long after I’m gone, I can imagine my son reminiscing, “Remember when Mom let us draw on the walls with chalk?” And his sister will chime in, “And all that glitter!” So yes, maybe I am lazy sometimes, and perhaps that’s perfectly okay.
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In the end, we’re all just doing our best, one lazy day at a time.
Summary
This letter addresses the shared experiences and struggles of motherhood, highlighting the pressures and expectations placed on mothers. It embraces the idea that sometimes, being lazy can lead to wonderful bonding moments and cherished memories with children. It encourages mothers to accept their imperfections and find joy in the chaos of parenting.