We often hear professional athletes rave about their moms, claiming, “My mom is the best. She never missed a [insert sport: soccer game, basketball match, etc.].” While some might find this sweet, my reaction is different: Really? How is that even feasible? How did she pull that off?
I can only assume these super-moms either never worked, had no other children, or somehow avoided every cold and dentist appointment. The idea of “never missing a game” sounds idyllic, but is that truly the benchmark for excellent parenting? I have three kids, each involved in several sports and activities. Despite my amazing partner, we’re still a team of two, and with baby No. 3, we are officially outnumbered.
Most weekends revolve around coordinating logistics for at least half a dozen activities. I can’t imagine a more complicated task than organizing a spontaneous trip for some reality stars. And that’s just the weekend!
Since I recently transitioned from a full-time job, I find myself juggling the majority of driving duties during the week. Still, I have to lean on my husband and our network of friends and neighbors. Managing it all alone feels impossible, and unless I invent a time machine, I can’t attend every single event.
When I was employed full-time, I was fortunate to work for a company that valued work-life balance, allowing me some flexibility. I had spent years establishing a solid reputation, and once I became a parent, I had the option to work flexibly. But not everyone has that luxury. Many parents are in jobs without such accommodations, making it hard to imagine saying, “I can’t perform that surgery today; my child has a game.”
Mom guilt is something many of us experience, but I was comfortable with my situation. It wasn’t perfect, but it worked for us. I felt fortunate not to miss out on too much. Let me clarify: my guilt showed up in other areas. My kids might not eat the healthiest meals, they spend too much time on screens, and I’m not exactly the most patient parent. But when it came to flexibility? I felt like I was winning!
Looking back, though, I realize I wasn’t as involved as I thought. While I was physically present at most games, I often found myself distracted. With smartphones and Wi-Fi everywhere, it’s easy to be “there” but not really present. I remember pacing behind the bleachers on calls, missing those cheers for my son’s big play. I was able to say I was there, but was I really?
No parent wants to think their child looks to the stands and feels alone. Thankfully, in most sports, the parents have formed a supportive community. We cheer for every child and share in their victories and defeats. If my husband or I can’t attend, I know other parents will be there, genuinely rooting for our kids.
Sports offer invaluable lessons. Children learn teamwork, perseverance, and how to handle disappointments. They cultivate leadership skills and learn to be gracious whether they win or lose. The benefits of sports are immense, and I appreciate how they enrich our family’s life, even if they take up most of our weekends.
As parents, we have a multitude of responsibilities. We must teach our kids to be kind and safe, and while I wish for their happiness, I know I can’t guarantee it. Most days, I seem to be the villain for asking them to take a shower or turn off their devices. But nowhere in the parenting handbook does it say, “You must attend every game.”
I once read that the best thing you can say to your child after a game, win or lose, is just six simple words: “I love to watch you play.” It’s not our role to critique their performances; that’s for their coaches. These words encapsulate everything, and I remind my kids of this often. I genuinely do love watching them play, and I aim to cheer them on as much as I can. Unfortunately, I can’t promise it’ll be every single time.
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In summary, while it’s tempting to feel guilty for not attending every game, it’s important to recognize that being present in spirit and supporting your child means much more than just showing up.