I can still vividly recall the day you entered my life; it feels like it was just yesterday, although it has already been two years. I think back to our second night in the hospital. Your dad had to go home to help your older sibling settle down for the night. He stayed until the very last moment, and then my own mom came to keep me company, curling up on the hard, faux-leather couch in our room. While she slept, I lay wide awake, contemplating the whirlwind of emotions that came with being a new mom.
Could I endure more sleepless nights?
Could I manage two little ones when your dad returned to work?
Would I be able to be the mother you deserve?
In that moment, I felt overwhelmed and unsure, with answers to those questions leaning heavily toward “no.” The truth is, the journey has been challenging. There were days I called your dad at work in tears, feeling defeated. I often grappled with my own imperfections, both as a person and as your mother. Yet, I know now that I didn’t make a mistake in having you.
Now that you’re two, I understand the meaning behind phrases like, “This too shall pass,” and “Don’t be the first to pull away during a hug.” I realize I might not always be the perfect mother, but I’m the mom you’ve got, and I’m learning every day.
Though I sometimes find myself distracted, scrolling through my phone instead of fully engaging in our storytime, I cherish these moments with you. Even the tough days hold a special place in my heart.
As night falls, I often reflect on our day. I think of the times I could have been more present or when my own thoughts got in the way of your needs. It can be painful to acknowledge, especially as I watch you grow. Each day, you seem to need me a little less, and I find myself slowly letting go.
What stings is knowing that these moments, when you rely on me so much, are fleeting. One day, you’ll decide how much time you want to spend with me, and I hope you always feel the depth of my love, even amidst my imperfections.
Two years ago, I welcomed you into this world, and before I know it, I’ll be reflecting on your childhood from a distance. I’ll probably become that older, wiser mom who tells new parents about how quickly time flies.
Motherhood is both the hardest and most rewarding journey I’ve ever embarked upon. Every time I see your bright blue eyes sparkling with joy or your furrowed brow when you’re upset, I’m reminded of the beautiful child I’ve had the privilege to raise. The many mistakes I make will always be overshadowed by the joy you bring me.
If you’re interested in learning more about the journey of pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource on the IVF process. And for those curious about at-home insemination options, you can find more information from a trusted source here.
In summary, my experience as your mother has been a rollercoaster of emotions, filled with challenging yet beautiful moments. I cherish every second, even the tough ones, because they shape our bond and my growth as a parent.