Sitting across from the principal of a private school, I couldn’t help but feel like I was more of a teen than a parent. I maintained a composed smile, trying to keep my anxiety at bay. As I shared my son’s story, I was taken aback by her lighthearted remark: “What does ‘gifted’ even mean?”
I understand the stereotype. Gifted children are often pigeonholed as socially awkward geniuses, or worse, overshadowed by their ambitious parents. They’re seen as “special” or “privileged,” terms that carry a negative connotation today. The prevailing belief is that everything will come easily to them, so how dare their parents ask for more?
Hearing this from an educator, I felt like a fraud. Holding my son’s impressive test scores, I suddenly questioned my motives. Was I just another “snowflake mom” trying to take resources away from those who truly need help? To be fair, the principal’s intention was to convey that their program was adaptable, but it made me wonder: Would she have laughed if I asked about support for children with dyslexia?
What Does It Mean to Be Gifted?
So what does it mean to be gifted? It can mean being told by your child’s preschool educators that although your 4-year-old is welcome to stay, they simply cannot cater to his advanced learning needs. It’s the frustration of visiting unaffordable private schools only to be told they don’t offer any acceleration. It’s the tears shed while calling school boards, only to hear them tout a gifted program that lacks real depth. It’s the heartache of deciding to homeschool because your bright child is suddenly overwhelmed and refuses to engage with reading, fearing judgment from peers.
Being gifted means confronting the reality that your child may never fit the mold of “normal.” They might miss out on school events like pageants or prom. You witness their struggle to connect with friends over interests they can’t share, realizing their differences set them apart. Every achievement feels less like a celebration and more like a source of anxiety since they’re expected to perform at their level.
The Struggles of Parenting a Gifted Child
As a parent, you may face accusations of “hothousing” when, in truth, you’re simply trying to keep up with the endless curiosity-driven questions that invade your day and night. You might find yourself exhausted, allowing your child to watch educational videos while you steal a few minutes of rest. It’s disheartening to ask for support only to be dismissed with comments urging your child to just enjoy being a kid. You grapple with guilt when you’d rather engage in math together than play dress-up, even if you’re already late to another commitment.
Gifted children often have their educational needs overlooked due to behavioral expectations or handwriting issues. “School is meant for socialization,” people say, but how meaningful is social interaction when it happens in a classroom for eight hours a day? Their unique needs can be ignored simply because they are perceived as “better,” even though gifted kids are among the highest risk groups for dropping out. Being gifted doesn’t guarantee success; it doesn’t always equate to book smarts or perfect behavior. In fact, it can often be the opposite.
The Bright Side of Giftedness
Yet, there is a bright side. Giftedness brings joy in the simplest pleasures—like losing oneself in a good book or discovering the wonders of science and math. It’s the thrill of a preschooler asking profound questions that stump adults. It’s the unexpected support from others who understand your journey without needing an explanation. Amid all the challenges, you treasure the moments of connection and growth.
In essence, giftedness is a neurological difference marked by advanced cognitive abilities and is recognized as a special need. We must advocate for these children to receive the same essential services that any other child with special needs deserves. It isn’t an either-or situation; shouldn’t it encompass all?
Further Insights and Resources
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In summary, raising a gifted child presents unique challenges that can often feel isolating. These children require not just understanding but also proper educational support to thrive. It’s essential to advocate for their needs just as we would for any other special requirements.