The name Betsy DeVos has sparked apprehension and frustration among many parents and educators, particularly those with children who have special needs. These families rely heavily on a robust public education system to ensure their children receive the necessary support. The potential shift in funding that her policies could bring is a source of great concern for us. Parents of differently-abled children already face daily challenges advocating for their educational rights, and any redirection of funds could lead to even less support for those who need it most.
There is no greater anguish than witnessing your child struggle. The helplessness that comes with watching them suffer is a daily reality for us. Our son desperately needs assistance, yet we find ourselves unable to provide it.
For over a year and a half, we’ve been locked in a frustrating battle with our local school concerning his special education requirements. Our son is a courageous and intelligent young man with a heart of gold. Yet, he navigates the complexities of high school while facing the challenges of autism spectrum disorder, ADHD, anxiety, depression, and Tourette’s syndrome. Unfortunately, for the past year and a half, his educational needs have gone unmet. His Individualized Education Program (IEP) accommodations have been disregarded; communication between his regular education teachers and his academic support team is virtually non-existent, and he has failed to achieve any of his IEP goals.
His grades have plummeted from As and Bs in middle school to Ds, despite the promise of daily academic support. He has faced bullying, social ostracism, and his emotional well-being has deteriorated significantly. Recently, I learned that he spent his lunch periods in the bathroom. When I asked him why, my heart sank at his response: “Well, when I was at the tables with people, they were getting up and leaving. So, I’d rather be in there by myself.”
Despite this heartbreaking situation, he continues to go to school every day without complaint. Every morning, I watch him walk to the bus stop, his head down, headphones on, hood up. Tears fill my eyes as I send my beautiful boy off to face another day of challenges and feelings of inadequacy.
I documented the numerous instances where his IEP was ignored or his rights violated in an 18-page letter to the town administration. I have met with the school team over ten times, discussed my concerns with the principal and the head of special education, and emailed staff weekly—often daily—to ensure they fulfill their obligations. Yet, despite my tireless efforts, nothing has improved. Our requests to move him to a private special needs school or a town with a better program have been denied. Even with letters from his psychiatrist, psychologist, and developmental pediatrician emphasizing the urgent need for a suitable educational environment, we continue to face rejection.
At a recent IEP meeting, the team chair stated, “The bottom line is that we are meeting his needs. He comes to school each day and is not failing out, and that is all we are required to do.” We feel trapped in a system that cannot provide what our child requires. We know he cannot remain in this environment without suffering lasting harm, yet options are limited.
When others hear our story, they often express shock, saying things like, “They can’t do that!” and “Your son has rights!” However, I always respond with the same question: “Where exactly would that be?” The reality is that private schools often lack the resources for special education, and many children like my son, with his challenges, would not even be accepted. Charter schools similarly struggle to accommodate special needs students and may not always adhere to educational laws.
We’ve lived in this town for over 13 years. Our three other children have thrived here, and despite our town’s reputation for being accommodating to special needs students, we are facing a dire situation. Moving would disrupt the lives of our other children without guaranteeing a better outcome for our oldest.
Private schools for special needs students often charge exorbitant fees, sometimes exceeding $70,000 a year, and most do not provide financial aid or even accept inquiries without a referral from the local school. The voucher options proposed by the Secretary of Education seem unlikely to benefit families like ours; they amount to a discount on a luxury that remains unaffordable.
Our hope was never for our child to attend a private special needs school. We believe in the value of public education and the diversity it offers. However, public schools are overwhelmed in meeting the needs of an increasing number of special education students. Budget cuts limit their ability to create programs that would better serve these children.
As a result, many children are left without adequate support and few alternatives. We are now preparing to go to court, a process that will undoubtedly add more stress to our family at a time when we are already feeling the weight of it all. The appointment of Betsy DeVos as Secretary of Education could not have come at a more challenging time for families like ours. She seems unaware of the harsh realities faced by children in special education and the laws designed to protect their rights.
While she speaks of choices in education, we know that many children who need the most support have the fewest options. They depend on a well-funded public school system to meet their needs because they are often unwelcome elsewhere. So, I ask you, Betsy DeVos, what choices does my child truly have? What solutions do you offer to families like ours who find themselves in this difficult position?
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In summary, our fight for our son’s right to an appropriate education reflects the struggles faced by many families of children with special needs. The challenges are immense, and the solutions seem distant, especially with policies that may divert essential resources away from public schools. Our question remains: what real choices are available for our children?