Parenting can feel overwhelming, and I won’t tell you to treasure every moment—because let’s be honest, some moments are downright exhausting. I remember being stretched thin, physically and emotionally, wondering who would want to hold onto the feeling of being pulled in every direction, like a resourceful hunter using everything they have.
I still bear the tension in my back, right below my shoulder blades, which arrived after my third child was born. I recall a day when I thought I could contain my 5- and 2-year-olds in the bathtub while nursing the baby. There I was, wedged into the bathroom, the wooden stool digging into my legs, hunching over to nurse while keeping an eye out for any signs of trouble with the older two. It should have been a miserable experience, yet it stands out as a small victory—a clever trick of multitasking. Of course, by the end, the tub wasn’t the only thing that felt completely drained.
Then a wonderful thing happened: the baby grew strong enough to sit up independently, and my oldest learned to read. Suddenly, I could fill the tub with just a few inches of water, squeeze the baby and my now-3-year-old into one end, and step into the shower while my first-grader cozied up with a book. Sure, I couldn’t indulge in shaving or anything fancy, and they needed pacifiers to avoid sipping on shampoo suds, but I could finally wash my hair!
Thinking back to those chaotic routines as I watched my trio climb into the tub yesterday, I felt a wave of nostalgia. Now that they’re 7, 5, and 2 1/2, I can leave the room without panic. If I mute the music and listen for splashes or thuds, I can tackle the dishes and tidy up while they entertain themselves. Their laughter and imaginative play echo around me, and I find myself smiling again.
I even get to exercise now! The youngest rides in the stroller, surrounded by board books, while the “big kids” zoom by on scooters. “Let’s race, Mommy!” they shout, and while someone always ends up falling or getting bored, I take those pauses as my interval training.
Of course, I still have days when I wish for a brief escape, just a few hours of solitude with someone else handling the chores. But those moments are becoming less frequent. I feel like a dog who’s finally been given room to explore after years on a short leash. Yes, I still have my moments of feeling stuck, but now I often find space to breathe and do my own thing.
It’s not that my children are surly teenagers hiding away behind closed doors. Each night, my son still asks, “Can you come to my bed?” and I gladly do. Story time has become a leisurely affair—no more speeding through pages to prepare lunches, as they are now capable of drying off, putting away clothes, and choosing their own bedtime stories.
I may have rushed through many connections during those early years, but I didn’t miss out entirely. There’s still plenty of time between the chaotic postpartum days and the independence that comes later. I sit on the floor, building train tracks, chasing kids in the playground, and savoring snuggles. Now, I cherish those moments, trying to capture every detail, even the determined way my youngest insists, “No, I do it!”
They say the days can be long but the years are short, and I can attest to that. Yet, there comes a point when the hours feel just right, and the years align, allowing you to slow down and soak in the joy without the urge to survive.
So don’t feel guilty for not always finding the silver lining or for needing to prioritize survival over joy. Do what you need to get through the day. The beauty will still be there when you’re ready to appreciate it. I know mine are—each fragrant petal inviting me to stop and enjoy.
With love,
A Mom of Slightly Older Kids
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Summary
Parenting young children is a chaotic yet rewarding journey. As kids grow, parents find moments of peace and connection amid the challenges. While the early years can feel overwhelming, there is a shift as children gain independence, allowing parents to enjoy their company and cherish the memories created.