As a parent of two wonderfully unique children, I’ve come to embrace the occasional misgendering. My son, with his striking long hair and captivating eyelashes, has frequently been mistaken for a girl since infancy. Now that he’s older, his flowing locks are usually the reason behind the confusion. Conversely, my daughter—who often wears her brother’s hand-me-downs—sports a wardrobe filled with everything from floral dresses to black hoodies adorned with dinosaur spikes. Although she has less hair than him, I still hear people mistakenly refer to her as a boy from time to time.
Typically, I choose not to correct anyone when this happens. Most of the time, my kids are oblivious to the mix-up. If my son does notice someone calling him a girl, he often takes the initiative to correct them himself, which I wholeheartedly support. For the most part, we let these slip-ups slide because they don’t affect our day-to-day lives.
However, in situations like playgroups or when I anticipate seeing someone again, I do feel it necessary to clarify. I mean, it’s a little awkward for someone to find out my daughter is a girl after addressing her as “Little Dude” for several months. When I do correct them, I’m often met with sincere apologies. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” they exclaim, looking genuinely embarrassed. But honestly, it’s no biggie! You didn’t run over my dog or assume my child is a fan of the Boston Red Sox; you simply used the wrong pronoun. Let’s move on without dwelling on it.
What perplexes me even more is how horrified people seem when they guess wrong about my kids’ genders as babies. I mean, who can accurately determine the gender of a swaddled, squishy newborn? Once the doctor announces, “It’s a (insert gender),” that’s all I need.
I don’t correct strangers because it just doesn’t matter. I’m not offended by misgendering. In fact, I love that my children are growing up in a world where gender isn’t so rigidly defined. My son, at just four years old, is only beginning to grasp the distinctions between boys and girls. He knows he’s a boy and his sister is a girl but hasn’t expressed any preferences for “boy” or “girl” things. They both enjoy playing with trucks and dolls alike.
It’s fascinating to observe their natural inclinations without any pressure from me. My son is gentle and enjoys quiet moments with books, while my daughter is adventurous and loves anything that lets her express her creativity. Every day, they surprise me with their unique personalities.
So, if you come across my kids and aren’t quite sure where they fit on the gender spectrum, don’t sweat it! You’ve got a 50/50 chance, and it’s not a competition. No need to apologize; they are simply kids enjoying their childhood. They have plenty of time ahead to define themselves fully, and for now, I’m just happy to see them being themselves.
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Summary
In this article, the author shares her perspective as a parent of two children who often face misgendering. She emphasizes that such mistakes are not a big deal and reflects on the importance of allowing her kids to grow up without rigid gender expectations. The article encourages readers not to worry about gender assumptions and offers links to additional resources for parenting and fertility topics.