I was born in 1975. At around age 7, my dad played on an adult baseball league, and my sisters and I eagerly attended every game. The only “sunscreen” we had was a Dr. Pepper Lip Smacker I received as a Christmas gift. My mom would hand us some cash for sodas and candy, and we filled our pockets with treats, too engrossed in our own adventures to watch the actual game. My mother had no clue where we roamed or what mischief we were up to.
Our summers didn’t consist of camps, reading lists, or tight schedules. Endless beach days invariably ended with a trip to McDonald’s. I vividly remember one afternoon when my mom swung our oversized blue Caprice Classic into the parking lot. I slid across the seat, unbuckled and colliding with my sisters. Still glistening from a day of tanning oil and Sun-In, we quenched our thirst with Hi-C before heading home to swing on our tire until dusk.
The summer days felt infinite, allowing us to get our feet dirty, endure mosquito bites, and devour sugary cereals and fruit pies. Every morning, our parents would say, “Go outside and play,” and we embraced it fully.
Long hours of homework weren’t on the agenda. I rarely brought home papers for my parents to sign, and sports practices and games occurred right after school. I can’t recall my parents ever feeling overwhelmed by our schedules. Instead, I remember evenings spent watching the news, my dad sipping Budweiser and my mom cracking open her Tab.
During my teenage years, friends would ride the bus home with me. We spent our afternoons glued to Nickelodeon, slurping instant ramen, making prank calls, and writing notes to crushes. I would talk for hours on the phone with friends, twirling the pink cord as we discussed outfits for the next day and the latest gossip.
With fondness, I reflect on my childhood, and I’ve tried to weave some of those cherished memories into how I parent my own kids. Although I sometimes wish for the simplicity of my ’80s and ’90s upbringing, I find balance in my approach. I believe in the importance of sunscreen and encourage my kids to engage in extracurricular activities they love. Reading is a daily expectation.
I want my children to relish the freedom I once had and seize opportunities as they arise. So, we have created a family environment that nurtures that spirit. I’ve been known to allow sugary cereal for breakfast. On sunny afternoons, my son rides his bike all over town with friends, and while technology keeps us connected, I often don’t know his exact whereabouts.
The scent of McDonald’s still evokes memories of those carefree summer days, so I treat my kids to a few meals there each month. Whenever my daughter feels under the weather, she craves ramen, and I make sure she has it.
I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel a twinge of guilt when my neighbor mentioned her kids have never even seen a Happy Meal. And when some of my kids’ friends are too busy with their packed schedules to hang out, I sometimes question if I’m providing them with enough opportunities.
Some days are all about freedom, where I encourage my kids to play outside until dusk, and I’m grateful we don’t have such a hectic schedule that they can’t climb trees and explore. Other days, I find myself racing around as an “Uber driver,” shuttling them to various events. I appreciate these days too, as they offer experiences that weren’t available to me.
We might have the ingredients for a homemade meal, but when I get a craving for the aroma of french fries mingled with vanilla soft serve (I love that smell), I tell my kids to hop in the car for a treat. Honestly, I often find myself more excited than they are.
I don’t believe today’s parents are doing it wrong, just as I don’t think parents in the ’80s and ’90s were mistaken either. Parenting styles have evolved, and every generation has its own unique approach. Personally, I’ve chosen to blend the best of both worlds.
You can absolutely create wonderful memories while keeping a busy schedule. Just because your kids aren’t playing barefoot in the sprinklers doesn’t mean you’re failing them. And letting them play outside until the streetlights flicker on or enjoying ramen for lunch from time to time doesn’t signify neglect.
One truth remains constant across generations: moderation is essential. So, please pass the Lucky Charms. Tomorrow, I’ll be roasting an organic chicken while juggling lacrosse practice for my daughter and a coding club for my son. For us, this is the perfect formula for a happy family.
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Summary:
Reflecting on childhood experiences and parenting styles, this article emphasizes that both past and present parenting approaches have their merits. While modern parents may face different challenges, the essence of nurturing and creating memories remains the same. Balancing freedom and structure is key, as is the idea that moderation is vital in raising happy, well-rounded children.