One of the most daunting worries for parents sending their little ones to school for the first time is the fear of their child struggling to make friends or feeling left out. However, an unexpected emotion that often arises is an overwhelming fury towards other kids when they hurt our children. Emily Carter knows this feeling all too well, and she’s shedding light on it.
In a recent discussion with Parenting Weekly to promote her new comedy series, “Playtime,” which airs Thursdays on a popular network, Emily shared her experience when her daughter, Lily, entered preschool. “I noticed there were already cliques forming, with some really confident kids being a bit exclusionary. The boys were chasing the girls, and Lily was calling out, ‘Catch me! Catch me!’ but they just zoomed past her. I thought, ‘I might need therapy after this because the rage? It’s real,’” Emily recounted.
Rather than intervening, she chose to step back, knowing that getting involved could worsen the situation for Lily. But oh, how the desire to act can overpower common sense! Many of us pride ourselves on being mature and rational, yet in these moments, the emotions are anything but. I remember distinctly having a rivalry with a seven-year-old when my son was in second grade; a girl once hoisted his shirt up in front of the class, revealing his underwear to laughter. I volunteered every week and I must admit, my feelings toward that girl were anything but kind. Thankfully, I never acted on those thoughts, or I might be telling this story from behind bars!
Comedian Jake Thompson has a hilarious take on similar moments in his special “Live at the Playground.” He humorously describes a boy in his daughter’s class whom he despises “with an adult-level, consuming hatred.” When he spotted the boy bothering his daughter at recess, instead of rushing to intervene, he mused, “Let him do a little something first. I want a reason.” It’s that primal urge to protect your child that ignites a fire within you.
Emily articulates this well in her interview, stating, “…it’s amazing how juvenile my feelings can be. It’s like being thrown back to those awkward school days when you were teased. You witness your child facing the same hurt, and suddenly the ‘Mama Bear’ instinct kicks in, driving a surge of blind, protective rage. It’s not rational, but it’s instinctual.”
Witnessing your child in distress is one of the toughest aspects of parenthood. The challenge lies in knowing when to step in and when to let them navigate their own path. And if you ever feel tempted to give a disapproving glance to a kindergartener at snack time, know that you’re not alone in those feelings.
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In summary, it’s perfectly normal for parents to feel intense emotions when their children face difficulties with peers. The challenge is balancing that protective instinct with the wisdom to let kids learn and grow independently.