As I walked into the gym’s locker room with my friend, she greeted me with, “You look so skinny!” This comment often follows periods when I’ve been unwell or recovering from an injury, and while it’s intended as praise, it doesn’t resonate with me the way it might with others.
Naturally, my body tends to resemble a stick figure adorned with an apple shape at the center, topped off with a generous bust. When I engage in workouts, my slender limbs develop some muscle definition. However, after time away from exercising, the loss of that muscle mass leads to comments about being “skinny.” Isn’t “skinny” supposed to be a positive descriptor?
For me, working out is not about appearance. I respect those who focus on aesthetics, but my motivation stems from a long battle with depression over the past 18 years. The endorphins I gain from exercise serve as an essential complement to my antidepressant, significantly stabilizing my moods.
Here’s the thing: being called “skinny” isn’t truly a compliment. Although it may be intended kindly, it reflects society’s tendency to scrutinize bodies. Would anyone feel comfortable saying, “You’ve gained weight” or “You sure are taking a long time to bounce back after having a baby”? Of course not.
Compliments about appearance perpetuate a harmful and sexist narrative that fosters insecurities regarding body image. This is why we strive to avoid emphasizing girls’ looks over their intelligence or creativity. Hopefully, we’re making strides in that regard compared to previous generations. But what about us? The women raised by mothers who obsessively dieted, drank diet sodas, and weighed themselves daily? We continue to grapple with body acceptance.
Even when we think we’re being mindful of how we discuss others’ bodies, we can still miss the mark and unintentionally uphold those same standards using new language. For every individual who feels empowered by the flood of fitness and diet trends across social media, there’s another woman facing health challenges, managing single parenthood, or simply wishing to avoid obsessing over her body’s appearance and its perceived value.
Gossip magazines blare headlines like, “Celebrity X Shows Off Her Post-Baby Body in Hawaii!” No, she has a body. She had a baby. Her body is in Hawaii. Well-meaning friends who haven’t seen us in a while might comment on how “skinny” we look, unaware of our struggles, such as recovering from IBS flare-ups or a leg injury. And as we navigate these conversations, our children are observing and absorbing these messages.
Recently, at my daughter’s after-school art club, I overheard a little girl boasting about her flat stomach, saying, “Look how little my tummy is.” I noticed my daughter listening intently. So, I did the classic mom thing and stepped in, puffing out my own belly and exclaiming, “It doesn’t matter what size your tummy is! What’s important is that it works. Can you imagine if it didn’t? You’d have to deal with food just sitting there! You’d have to poop out pieces of it!” The girls erupted into laughter, discussing the absurdity of what that would entail.
There’s no wrong way to have a body. Even when comments regarding body shape are meant to be kind, they still reinforce judgment. So, please refrain from calling me skinny. My goal is to be healthy, happy, and ultimately unconcerned about how I appear.
If you’re interested in more about the journey of body acceptance and self-care, check out this insightful perspective. And for those looking into home insemination, this resource provides excellent information. Additionally, IVF Babble serves as a fantastic place for information about pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
The author reflects on how being told she looks “skinny” feels more like a societal judgment than a compliment. While she acknowledges the intention behind such comments, she emphasizes the importance of body positivity and acceptance. The narrative highlights the need to shift focus from appearance to health and well-being, especially in the presence of children who are influenced by these discussions.