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Screw You, Allergies!
by Sarah Jennings
Updated: July 2, 2020
Originally Published: April 22, 2017
The arrival of spring feels like a long-awaited embrace. The dogwoods burst forth in a dazzling display of white blooms, and a delicate green veil blankets the trees, signaling new beginnings. Rose bushes showcase their budding flowers, and the temperature rises, nudging us toward shorts and flip-flops. As hemlines creep upward, it’s easy to get swept up in the magic of the season—a refreshing gift after a winter spent indoors.
But then there’s the relentless pollen. That invisible menace floats through the air like a sprinkle of mischief from the trees, an unwelcome reminder of nature’s darker side. It’s akin to a bad horror flick where the plants unleash chaos on humanity. Every spring, it feels as if the trees conspire to drive us mad with their insidious pollen.
The unfortunate truth is that tree pollen sends my family’s immune systems into overdrive. The telltale signs of spring are unmistakable: the inevitable runny noses that flow like Vermont maple syrup, but far less pleasant. My kids suddenly shy away from outdoor play, realizing too late that fresh air equals a flood of snot and red, itchy eyes.
The youngest, a three-year-old, battles fever while his eyes swell and squint. He spends his days sniffling, likely feeling miserable all around. The older two are not far behind, suffering from headaches, incessant sneezing, and eyes that resemble cherry tomatoes. Tempers flare, and while they understand their plight, the little one only knows he feels awful and takes it out on everyone nearby.
My children yearn to run and play outside, but stepping into the fresh air quickly turns into a quest for relief from the relentless snot production and misery. As a result, my home frequently resembles a tornado zone; if they pull another blanket from the couch, I might just throw in the towel and head to Vegas.
Desperate for a solution, we decided to grab some children’s Claritin. After a search, we found it tucked away in the “Children’s Cough and Cold” aisle at Target. Thirty doses cost a staggering $24.95. That’s right—twenty-five bucks for just ten days of relief! At this rate, I might have to consider selling my youngest just to get through allergy season. Thankfully, there are generic options, but even those prices add up when you have multiple kids.
And let’s not forget about my husband, who wakes up every morning looking like he just emerged from a cloud of smoke. When the kids are snotty, we’re even worse off, using tissues at a rate that could rival a teenage girl’s attempts to fill out. It’s like a nonstop cold, leaving us waiting for nature’s fury to pass. Chapped lips and a nose that looks like Rudolph’s become our new normal.
As if that weren’t enough, the entire household is plagued by snoring. Oh goodness, the snoring! Forget about restful nights; my husband sounds like a dying yak, and the kids follow suit with their own miniature versions. I dose everyone with Claritin, stuff earplugs in, and hope for a moment of peace amidst the chaos.
Headaches become a daily companion, and my contacts feel like they might just leap out of my eyes. Everyone is snotty, irritable, and longing to be outside, yet the outdoors only worsens our plight. Trees are magnificent, providing oxygen and beauty, but they also have a devilish way of getting their revenge. Thankfully, there’s children’s Claritin, even if it comes at a high price. Anyone interested in a three-year-old?
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Summary:
As spring arrives, the beauty of blooming trees and warmer weather is overshadowed by the relentless onslaught of pollen that wreaks havoc on allergy sufferers. Families face runny noses, headaches, and general misery as they navigate the season. Despite the challenges, solutions like children’s Claritin offer some relief, albeit at a steep price. The quest for balance between enjoying the outdoors and managing allergy symptoms becomes a humorous struggle for many.