I fondly recall the evenings when my mother would tuck me in, planting soft kisses on my forehead as she wished me goodnight. I remember her sitting beside me, guiding me through tricky homework assignments. I can still picture her tears during my heartaches and her laughter during our joyful celebrations. I remember her gentle touch, cooling my forehead with a cloth when I was unwell. Above all, I remember her unwavering presence, always right by my side.
As parents, we often place immense pressure on ourselves, don’t we? We find ourselves questioning whether we’re doing enough—whether we’re volunteering enough, making enough money, crafting enough, or keeping our homes clean enough. It’s easy to get lost in self-doubt. Are we good enough moms? Are our children missing out on something important? Is the house tidy enough? Did we plan the perfect activities for upcoming holidays? The list seems never-ending!
But why do we put ourselves through this? What will truly resonate with our children as they grow up?
I hope that when my daughter reflects on her childhood, she remembers the essence of who I am, rather than the trivialities. I want her to hold dear the small, everyday moments that shaped our bond. Ultimately, material concerns fade. I desire for her to remember my love, my spirit, and how deeply I cared for her.
When she recalls her childhood, she may not remember the laundry piled high on the couch—except perhaps for the fun of jumping into it and laughing. The sight of a sink full of dirty dishes will be overshadowed by the memories of family meals shared together, where our hearts and bellies were full. She won’t focus on whether a friend’s mom brought fancy gluten-free cupcakes while I brought store-bought cookies; she’ll cherish the fact that I was there to listen to her stories about her day.
So, why do we berate ourselves? Why do we exhaust ourselves trying to achieve a Pinterest-perfect existence?
The truth is, none of us are flawless, and do we really want to be? Embracing the messiness and chaos is part of motherhood and family life. It’s the shared experiences and fond memories that our children will take with them into adulthood.
Our kids love us unconditionally. They adore us at our best and they embrace us at our worst. They don’t mind if we’re a little disheveled. They see themselves in us and say, “I look just like you, Mom.” This is what will stick with them.
Next time you find yourself feeling inadequate because you haven’t checked off a task on your list, take a moment to count the cuddles, the kisses, the laughter, and the endless “I love yous.” This is the list that truly matters and the one your children will carry with them for life.
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In summary, our children will remember the love we shared, the moments we created together, and not the imperfections we fret over. Cherish the small things, for they are the heart of our parenting journey.