My son was 2 years old, blissfully sleeping in his crib, when a well-meaning acquaintance suggested it was time to transition him to a big boy bed. Honestly, the thought hadn’t even crossed my mind. I figured that crib-sleeping had no strict deadline—he wasn’t heading off to college with it, right? I liked the crib, and so did he. Why change a good thing?
As a busy parent of a toddler, the last thing I wanted was to take on another parenting challenge. My day was already filled with potty training, ensuring he washed his hands, and convincing him that eating veggies was a good idea. So, why add to the madness?
But, being a sucker for parenting advice, I took the plunge. I ordered a toddler bed from Amazon, and within days, we kicked off Operation Big Boy Bed. I was optimistic, convinced it would be a breeze. “The crib isn’t that critical,” I thought. “This bed will be fantastic. Everything will be just fine!”
Spoiler alert: It was not fine.
Unlike my friend, who failed to warn me about the potential downsides of a newfound bedtime freedom, I’m here to give you a heads-up. Before you transition your child out of their cozy crib, be ready to handle these essential questions. Expect to hear them at your bedside, often in the most whiny voices, at all hours of the night. Questions like:
- “Mommy, can I have a cup of water?”
- “My cup of water spilled. Can I have new blankets?”
- “I didn’t get to drink the cup of water. Can I have another one?”
- “The cup of water is hot now. May I have some ice?”
- “I drank it, all gone. Can you help me go potty?”
- “I was just wondering, does Rapunzel have a sister?”
- “Does Mickey Mouse have a mommy?”
- “Why not? Is she dead?”
- “What happens when mouse mommies die?”
- “Are you going to die?”
- “Mommy, can you put carrots in my lunch tomorrow?”
- “No! I don’t like carrots. Can I have oranges instead?”
- “How do snakes hug each other?”
- “I hear a buzz in my fan. Are there bees?”
- “If bees sting me, will I bleed?”
- “Can I sleep in your bed? I’m scared of the bees.”
- “I don’t want to bleed in my bed.”
- “Did my sister’s penis fall off?”
- “Can my penis fall off?”
- “Can I check Daddy’s penis to make sure it didn’t fall off?”
- “Can I have a fruit snack?”
- “Where’s that toy doggy Aunt Sissy gave me for my birthday?”
- “Is it morning now?”
- “Is it still not morning now?”
- “When morning comes, do I have to go to school?”
- “I don’t like school anymore. Can I watch a movie?”
- “What’s your favorite movie? Is it only for adults?”
- “Can I watch it? Can we have popcorn?”
- “I ate popcorn last year, and it made my tummy ache. Can I have some medicine?”
- “I ate some medicine. Is that okay?”
- “Just kidding, Mommy, I didn’t eat any medicine.”
- “What color is our couch?”
- “Can I get out my Legos? I’ll be quiet, I promise.”
- “Can I play Fruit Ninja?”
- “Why is your tummy so big, Mommy? Did you eat a baby?”
- “How do babies get in your tummy? Did you eat me?”
- “I miss my dog. Can we bring him inside?”
- “The dark is too dark.”
- “My nightlight is too bright.”
- “My pillow is too squishy.”
- “What is dooooooosh? I heard ‘douche’ on the TV.”
- “Am I your favorite boy in the world?”
- “Don’t you want to sleep in the same bed as your favorite boy in the world?”
- “There is a scary man in my closet, Mommy. Is that God?”
- “Does God never sleep? Is he tired? Are his eyes burning?”
- “Can I sleep like a bat, upside down?”
- “Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy.”
- “Is Mommy your real name?”
- “And last but not least: Is it time to get out of bed yet?!”
This is just a glimpse of the myriad reasons my son has gotten out of bed this week. If you made it through this entire list without losing your cool, pouring yourself a drink, or tearing your hair out, congratulations! You are truly a champion among mothers, and you are ready to transition your child from a crib to a bed.
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Summary: Transitioning your child from a crib to a bed can be challenging, filled with endless questions and requests throughout the night. Preparing for this change means being ready to tackle the curious inquiries that come with it. If you can handle the chaos, congratulations—you’re ready for this next step in parenting!