Parenting
By: Sarah Thompson
Updated: April 27, 2023
Originally Published: April 27, 2023
A few weeks ago, I noticed a troubling trend: my kids began responding to my requests with “Do I have to?” as if it were a perfectly acceptable answer to every little thing I asked of them. I mean, really? Was I supposed to say, “Oh, sweetheart, you don’t have to do anything except exist and indulge in as many ice cream sandwiches as your heart desires?”
This phrase became a common refrain whenever I asked them to do anything—whether it was picking up their clothes, practicing music, or getting ready for bed. The whiny tone they used could have sent the neighborhood dogs into a frenzy, while my patience shriveled up in despair. I found myself staring at them in disbelief, questioning where I had gone wrong in raising such entitled youngsters who resisted even the simplest tasks.
My response typically was, “No, you don’t have to do anything. Just like I don’t have to hold back from spending your college fund on a fabulous new pair of shoes.” This would elicit a half-hearted eye roll, and they’d reluctantly complete their chores, dragging their feet as if I’d asked them to make a life-altering sacrifice. It was both frustrating and exasperating to witness.
From the very beginning, I had vowed that my children would not turn out spoiled. I was determined to avoid becoming their personal maid and insisted they learn self-sufficiency as soon as possible. They were going to be respectful, contributing members of our family—after all, they needed to learn to fill their own cups with water and put their dishes in the dishwasher without complaint.
But I was now faced with the uncomfortable reality that my kids had started to behave like spoiled brats, and I feared we were partly to blame. I think it all began when we got a bit lax with screen time. As parents, we had grown complacent. Instead of ushering them outside right after school, I would think, “They deserve a few minutes to unwind.” Then one day, I caught my son attempting to navigate the stairs while glued to his iPad! That was around the time the dreaded “Do I have to?” crept into our daily routine. They even started skipping simple courtesies like “please” and “thank you.” Every task turned into a tug-of-war, and I was utterly exhausted—and furious.
This is the tough side of parenting—the part where you have to get things done. Children are undeniably delightful, but then comes the challenge of teaching them to grow up without acting like complete fools. When they behave like spoiled brats, it’s downright embarrassing to take them out in public, and I genuinely enjoy family outings.
So, we decided to have a family intervention. We took a step back, recommitted to monitoring their screen time, and clarified our expectations. We even had a little chat about the perks of family life, like enjoying bacon and love. Just kidding—bacon is always on the menu, so what’s their excuse?
Parenting is no small feat; it requires time, effort, and a willingness to tackle the chaos head-on. I understand the reluctance to spring into action when asked, but valuing and respecting one another is paramount. The real joy of parenting comes when you reach a point where you can enjoy your children’s company without the urge to throttle them with the coat they left sprawled across the living room floor. They, too, get to relish a more peaceful home environment sans constant reminders to behave.
I’m committed to investing the time and effort necessary to ensure we don’t send self-entitled individuals out into the world. I hope you’ll join us in this endeavor.
For more insights into the world of family dynamics, check out our other blog post here.
In summary, every parent faces the challenge of ensuring their children grow up with respect and responsibility. When kids start acting spoiled, it’s essential to reassess our methods and establish clear expectations, all while maintaining a loving and supportive environment.