In 2010, I found myself outside a hotel in sunny Arizona with my energetic 2-year-old son, Alex. He was captivated by a flower garden, particularly fascinated by the sprightly sprinklers. As I urged him to come inside, he went completely limp, a familiar tactic of his whenever he didn’t want to leave. Then, I felt an unsettling pop in his arm.
At that moment, I was unaware that a toddler’s joints, especially the elbow, can easily slip out of place, much like a shoe coming untied. When Alex let out a heart-wrenching scream, his right arm dangling helplessly by his side, panic surged through me.
We were visiting family, enjoying a vacation, and I was outside trying to keep Alex calm while my partner, Mia, caught some much-needed rest. At just 25, I was still a relatively new dad, and the thought of having hurt my son was terrifying. Until that day, Alex had seemed so resilient, bouncing back from every tumble. But now, a chilling fear gripped me: what if I had seriously harmed him? This fear was my first and most prevalent anxiety as a parent, a common worry among new moms and dads.
Before Alex, I had often heard sorrowful stories of children harmed by innocent mistakes—a constant reminder of the weight of responsibility that comes with parenthood. I was plagued by self-doubt; friends had jokingly questioned my readiness for fatherhood when they learned of Mia’s pregnancy. I felt like a fraud, constantly on the verge of proving I wasn’t cut out for this role.
As I cradled Alex in my arms, I rushed into the hotel. Mia was getting ready when I brought him in, and to my dismay, he was still in agony, tears streaming down his cheeks. I felt utterly helpless.
“What happened?” Mia asked, concern etched on her face.
I recounted the incident, sharing my fear of breaking him. “What should we do?” I asked, the weight of uncertainty pressing down on me.
In hindsight, the answer seems so clear—take him to see a doctor. But at the time, our insurance situation was less than ideal, and I worried about unexpected medical costs. I was also anxious that the doctors would doubt my account of events, leading to even more dire consequences.
Mia, usually the calm voice of reason, held Alex close until he began to settle down. “Let’s call a nurse,” she suggested.
“Can we do that?” I responded, somewhat bewildered.
“Of course! There’s a number on our insurance card,” she replied, looking at me as if I’d just discovered fire.
After calling the nurse, I explained the situation while Alex began to play, albeit cautiously, aside from his limp arm. The nurse calmly informed me that it was likely a case of Nursemaid’s elbow—a common injury in toddlers, often caused by sudden pulling or falling. “You should take him to urgent care, and they can pop it back in place,” she advised.
I soon learned that this injury was not uncommon and had happened to Alex several times since. From going limp while holding hands to awkward tumbles at the playground, it was a normal part of our lives, yet on that night, it felt overwhelming.
As I was getting directions to urgent care, Alex tripped and fell onto his shoulder. I told the nurse to hold on for a moment. When Mia picked him up, suddenly, he was able to move his right arm again!
“What just happened?” I thought, both relieved and bewildered.
Confiding in the nurse, I admitted, “I feel like such a terrible parent. Am I doing something wrong?”
She chuckled gently and reassured me, “Taking care of little ones is no easy task. They can be like bouncing balls, and even with the best care, they can still get hurt. Your concern for Alex shows you’re doing great as a dad.”
Her words were a much-needed comfort, and I left that conversation feeling a little lighter. It’s important to remember that moments like these happen to every parent. If you ever find yourself worried about your child’s health, remember that resources such as this one about pregnancy can be extremely helpful.
Embrace the journey of parenthood, and don’t hesitate to reach out for help when needed—whether it’s for advice or just a reminder that you’re doing just fine.