Vetements, a brand I had yet to discover, has teamed up with Levi’s to introduce a daring fashion statement: Bare Butt Jeans. Yes, you read that right—these jeans come with zippers not just for the front, but also for your backside. Picture this: a zipper for your crack and one for each cheek—because why not keep it interesting? If you act fast, they might even throw in an extra zipper just for fun.
It’s a puzzling trend, and I’m grappling with the reasons behind it. Is this the new sideboob? I thought we were all about underboob now, but perhaps I’m just behind the curve. Here are a few whimsical theories on why these jeans might be gaining traction:
- After indulging in a Chipotle burrito, you might need a quick way to ventilate your pants before they reach hazardous levels.
- If you happen to sit in gum, it could be far easier to clean off your cheek than to battle it out with your jeans’ fabric.
- Someone makes an offhand comment about your butt-baring style, and you want to give them a cheeky reminder with your unfiltered crop-dusting.
- You’re just waiting for someone to point out your open zipper so you can proudly declare, “Yes, it is! That’s the whole point, you fashion-challenged creature!”
- Because when you shart, you believe everyone should be informed. #EndShartShaming
- Laundry day arrives, you’re out of underwear, and these are your last clean pants, so it’s a full send.
- You’re lounging in a park and want to catch some sun on your backside.
- Who needs hassle when taking care of business in the woods?
And yes, they also come in shorts. These shorts are essentially just fabric boundaries barely covering the lower cheeks, so unzipping them just leaves you with two party streamers hanging randomly—definitely not ideal for your new couch.
Perhaps I’m simply aging and have become a bit of a fashion dinosaur. There are surely many trendsetters out there who are thrilled with this bold expression of style. I can only hope they remember to prep for their moment in the spotlight.
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In summary, while the trend of bare butt jeans may baffle some, it certainly adds a layer of boldness to fashion. Whether it’s for comfort or creating a statement, it looks like this trend is here to stay.