It all begins before we even close our eyes. My partner and I have a spacious queen bed with a twin sidecar, yet our 3-year-old, Charlie, insists on sharing our space. After nursing him to sleep, I sneak away to enjoy some time with my husband. But as soon as we settle in, Charlie begins to stir. His soft whimpers escalate into cries that could either fade away or erupt into full-blown wails. I reach over, tuck him in, and gently pat him. He quiets down momentarily, but it doesn’t last.
As midnight approaches, I realize this little one needs to sleep; he was up until 9 p.m. already. I wait, but the crying resumes, growing louder. I stroke his back as he transitions into a restless sleep, tossing and turning. I brace myself for another long night.
It’s not just the newborns who struggle with sleep; toddlers and preschoolers can be just as challenging.
At 6 a.m., Charlie is wide awake and demanding his morning milk. Although I usually reserve nursing for bedtime, I’ll make an exception when I’m desperate for a few more minutes of sleep. I pull down my tank top, and he latches on like a hungry little piranha. Just as I begin to drift off, he demands, “The other mama milk!” Alright, kiddo, fine.
I flip him over and repeat the nursing routine, hoping to get just a bit more rest. But soon, Charlie decides it’s time to announce his wakefulness, popping up and declaring, “I awake!” before bouncing off to the living room. I can only hope my partner has started the coffee before heading to work as I groggily shuffle to the hallway.
According to Parents, children aged 1 to 2 are expected to sleep around 11 to 14 hours, including two naps, while those aged 3 to 5 typically need 10 to 13 hours, often with just one nap that gets dropped around age 5. Unfortunately, Charlie ditched his nap at age 2. Experts suggest creating rituals and schedules, preventing late-night exits from bed, and introducing a comforting lovey to ease nighttime fears.
In an article from the Huffington Post, parenting author Lisa Thompson notes that toddlers may wake at night due to feelings of needing control and independence, which can extend beyond just sleep. Factors like a new sibling, starting preschool, changes in diet, or even a parent returning to work can disrupt sleep patterns. Potty training, too much daytime sleep, or an early bedtime might also play a role.
None of these explanations seem to apply to Charlie’s sleep issues. Thanks for nothing, HuffPo.
I’m certainly not alone in this struggle. Parenting writer Tara Henderson shares that her 3-year-old has similar sleep challenges. “He’s impossible to schedule,” she says, recalling her attempts to enforce a sleep routine from infancy until he was 18 months old. At that point, she decided to let go of the fight, resulting in a child who sleeps during the day and prefers to stay awake all night. I can completely relate.
Despite the advice from parenting experts, my little Charlie still needs to nap at least once a day. However, we quickly learned that if he does nap, bedtime can stretch until 1 a.m. Sometimes he dozes off in the car, and we just pray he doesn’t sleep too long, or it will disrupt everyone’s sleep schedule in the house.
According to sleep expert Laura Adams from the Alberta Children’s Hospital’s Pediatric Sleep Service, about 40% of children will experience sleep problems by the time they turn 18. This definition of a sleep problem includes any difficulty in falling or staying asleep that affects the child or family. I suppose it’s a good thing that my kids are getting their sleep struggles out of the way early on.
We faced the same issues with my older child, who now sleeps soundly through the night most evenings. Thank goodness for that! I hold on to the hope that one day, Charlie will follow suit — and what a glorious day that will be.
To all the parents of restless sleepers out there, you are not alone. We’re in this together!
For more insights on this topic, check out this helpful resource on home insemination and see what Make a Mom has to offer regarding at-home solutions. For a deeper dive into parenting, visit Rmany’s blog for excellent advice.
Summary:
This article explores the common sleep challenges faced by toddlers and preschoolers, using personal anecdotes and expert insights to highlight the struggles many parents experience. It emphasizes that sleep issues are not limited to infants and reassures parents that they are not alone in their journey.