I was having a conversation with a colleague, Jake, a new dad in his early 30s. He and his wife welcomed a baby girl about six months ago, and he was anxious about her seeming dependency on her pacifier. “She can’t seem to settle down without it, and I’m worried about buying too many. I heard it might be tough to wean her off later,” he confided.
We were in his cramped office, which felt like it was tailored for someone much smaller. Jake, a big guy from LA with a background in Division 1 football, didn’t strike me as someone who would be easily intimidated. Yet here he was, fretting about his daughter potentially becoming a lifelong pacifier user, as if that was a major concern outside of underground raves.
I raised my hands and said, “Relax. Don’t sweat the small stuff.”
He looked at me, brows knitted, clearly taken aback as if I was suggesting he ignore parenting altogether. The expression on his face reflected that of every new parent—those who’ve spent countless hours poring over parenting manuals like “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” or scrutinizing nutritional labels at the grocery store, desperately trying to find the healthiest options, while their child in the cart screams for sugary snacks. Meanwhile, seasoned parents watch from afar, knowing full well that their kid will likely reject that quinoa salad in favor of mac and cheese.
The truth is, that’s the essence of parenting. You don’t have to relinquish control entirely, but you also shouldn’t stress over trivial matters like pacifiers or meal choices aimed at developing a “healthy brain.” If you live in constant worry, you’ll find yourself exhausted and unable to enjoy the moments that matter. Kids have their own agenda. Your role is simply to nudge them in the right direction.
“Listen, buddy,” I continued. “I’ve got three kids and a decade of parenting experience under my belt. My wife and I used to fret over everything too. All our kids loved their pacifiers. And you know what happened?”
“What?” he asked, curiosity piqued.
“Nothing. They outgrew it. But until they do, fighting it is just going to lead to stress over a piece of plastic. Don’t overthink it. In fact, buy a bunch. Stock up! It’ll simplify your life.”
“Want to hear the secret to parenting?” I asked, leaning in. “Are you prepared? It’s mac and cheese. Embrace it. Buy plenty of that stuff. It’ll be alright. The same goes for those pacifiers.”
He didn’t seem thrilled by my response, and to be honest, I wouldn’t have been either in his shoes.
When my wife and I first became parents, we often stressed over minor details. Over time, we learned that some scenarios just aren’t worth the anxiety. For instance, my toddler always takes her shoes off during car rides to the store. I could get frustrated and try to keep her shoes on, but it’s like yelling at the rain to stop. So, I let her ride in the cart without shoes. No big deal!
What I’m really trying to convey is this: much of parenting is about knowing which battles to fight. It could mean stocking up on pacifiers, allowing your child to go shoe-less in public, or sending your son to school with his hair all messed up because he refuses to comb it. It’s all part of the journey, and everything will turn out fine.
If you’re a new parent reading this, please take note: not everything needs to be a source of stress. My years of fatherhood have taught me that what truly matters is time. Spend quality moments with your kids. Watch movies together, get on the floor and play, or simply snuggle when you come home from work. Those moments are what count.
Jake sat in silence for a moment, and the conversation took on a more serious tone. I understand where he’s coming from; parenting is no joke, and new parents often obsess over every little detail.
“I mean it,” I urged. “Just give your little one those pacifiers. Stock up and make sure there’s one in every room. Don’t resist it. And once she’s happily sucking on a pacifier, snuggle with her. That’s what’s important. It’ll all be fine. When she’s ready to give them up, you’ll know, and soon enough she’ll move on to the next phase of life. In the meantime, relish those snuggles. Everything will work out.”
For more information on parenting and home insemination, check out this great resource on pregnancy.
Summary
Parenting often comes with unnecessary stress over trivial matters like pacifier use or meal choices. It’s vital for new parents to recognize that not every detail needs to be perfect. Embrace the chaos, buy those pacifiers, and focus on spending quality time with your children because that’s what truly matters.