“Just like no two snowflakes are identical and every person has distinct fingerprints, autism comes in various forms,” I explain to my 12-year-old son, Liam. As he’s grown older, he’s become increasingly aware of others who share his diagnosis.
“Mom, there’s this kid at tutoring who acts strange. He just gets up and rummages through the teachers’ stuff without asking!”
I listen, nodding as I drive, knowing a bigger question is on the horizon.
“He has autism just like me. Do I act strange too?”
“Each person’s experience with autism is unique. Remember how I said it’s a spectrum? Picture it as a rainbow. Some individuals are on one end, eagerly searching for the pot of gold, while others are just beginning to rise from the clouds. In between, there are all sorts of travelers.”
He grows quiet, gazing out the window as he processes my words.
“What about Max from school? He’s hurt kids, and he has autism. I never touch anyone.”
“Yes, I’m aware. His autism shows itself through aggressive behaviors,” I respond, bracing myself for his next question. Liam has a knack for cutting through the fluff, and I appreciate his pursuit of honesty.
“How can you be sure I have autism? If it’s so different from what I see in other kids, maybe I don’t have it.”
I tighten my grip on the steering wheel, preparing for a crucial conversation. My son is smart enough to deserve an honest answer. I miss the days when vague explanations were sufficient.
“Remember Dr. Harper?” I ask, recalling the specialist who diagnosed him two years prior.
“Yeah.”
“Do you remember all the tests and questions she had you go through? That assessment was specifically designed to identify autism. Based on your answers, her observations, and the insights provided by Dad and me, along with your school, she confirmed that you are indeed on the autism spectrum.”
As raindrops patter against the windshield, the rhythmic sound of the wipers interrupts the silence. The evening light dims, casting a warm glow from the traffic lights. He remains quiet, watching the rain cascade down the glass.
“How did I get autism?” he asks.
“Well, you don’t catch it like a cold. You’re born with it,” I clarify, relieved he feels comfortable asking these questions instead of hiding them away.
“Why do I have autism and nobody else in our family does?”
“Well, remember how each person carries a unique set of chromosomes and genes? Just like how Dad has dark hair while your cousin has light? It’s simply the way those genes align that makes each person different, even when they come from the same parents. Just like how you adore history while your sister doesn’t. Those differences are what make us all unique.”
He seems to accept my explanation. As we navigate the intersection, the rain intensifies, and I feel a pang of empathy for my son, who is earnestly trying to understand where he fits on the spectrum. It’s a moving target and a challenging concept to convey to a 12-year-old who just wants to grasp his place in this world.
For more insights on parenting and navigating life’s complexities, check out our other blog posts here. If you’re interested in a deeper dive into fertility journeys, Make A Mom is a fantastic resource. You can also explore the fundamentals of genetics at this Wikipedia page for valuable information on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, understanding that autism is a spectrum and that each individual experiences it differently is crucial for fostering empathy and support. Conversations about autism can be challenging, but they are vital for helping children like Liam navigate their feelings and identities.