When a relationship involving children comes to an end, there are numerous factors to weigh regarding custody, visitation, and financial obligations. Each situation is unique, with different dynamics at play.
However, one universal truth remains: if you can splurge on luxury items like a designer watch, a new sports car, or exotic getaways, then there’s no reason you can’t provide for your child. This is non-negotiable.
If you can afford such luxuries but neglect your financial responsibilities to the child you brought into this world, it’s time for a reality check. This message applies to all parents, regardless of gender. With more fathers becoming custodial parents—1 in 6 as of 2013—this issue transcends traditional roles.
Every child deserves access to basic necessities: food, shelter, clothing, and opportunities. I’ve witnessed friends and family struggle to meet these fundamental needs while juggling multiple jobs because the other parent was nowhere to be found. The situation is not just about physical absence; emotional and financial support are equally critical.
I once watched helplessly as my friend Lisa, a dedicated single mom, sought an extension on her power bill because her twins were ill, and she was short on funds. She faced the agonizing choice between medicine and keeping the lights on, not for frivolous reasons, but out of necessity.
Yet, some people will inevitably defend the absent parent, claiming “there are two sides to every story.” In most cases, I’d agree. But if you are employed and receive a paycheck while having a child, you have a duty to contribute to their upbringing. It’s simple—no excuses.
Raising children is expensive. If you’re currently unemployed, do everything possible to find steady work so that you can contribute. Take on odd jobs, like mowing lawns or helping neighbors, to gather some funds. When you do earn money, ensure it goes toward your child’s needs, whether that’s buying diapers or sending financial support directly. That’s what responsible parenting looks like.
While support agreements may vary, avoid making excuses like “he can only support himself” or “he has other kids now.” Every child has needs that must be met, regardless of your financial situation. It is entirely your responsibility to ensure your child doesn’t suffer due to these excuses.
You don’t get to dictate how the custodial parent spends the support money. Once that money is provided, it’s up to them to manage their finances. If your child is being well cared for, then your contribution is fulfilling its purpose.
Shift your mindset from “my money” to “my child.” It’s not about being selfish; it’s about ensuring your child has what they need.
In Summary
Pay your child support—no matter the circumstances. Whether you were prepared for parenthood or not, your child needs your support now. They didn’t ask to be born, but they deserve your commitment, respect, and assistance. Make your payments on time, consistently, because financial support is essential for grocery bills, daycare fees, and housing.
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Conclusion
Be proactive in your responsibilities as a parent.