The challenges of preparing meals for a family of five are genuine for any parent. No one enjoys feeling like a short-order cook, and dealing with picky eaters can be a test of patience. However, my experience cooking for my family often feels like navigating a vast ocean in a canoe, with only one paddle, no waste bucket, and a crew of whiny children.
While this may seem like an exaggeration, my struggles run deeper than typical parental frustrations. My journey began years ago when I started preparing meals for little ones with food allergies and adults with dietary restrictions. Balancing elimination diets while nursing three children, and catering to toddlers who refuse plain pasta because of a few green bits—otherwise known as basil—has turned mealtimes into a labyrinth of challenges.
My two sons faced significant food intolerances as babies, struggling with items most children can easily consume, such as rice and oats, due to a condition called Food-Protein Induced Enterocolitis Syndrome (FPIES). Though they have now outgrown it, I’ve been forced to eliminate beef from my diet, while my husband dislikes chicken, and my youngest recently developed lactose intolerance.
I know, it’s utterly draining.
While you may have one picky toddler to contend with, I’m managing a whole spectrum of dietary preferences and aversions. Yes, cereal is a valid dinner option, and we have resorted to it on occasion, but I refuse to abandon the tradition of a family meal. I cook dinner nearly every night, meticulously planning meals and grocery shopping every Monday. It feels like a monumental feat to ensure that everyone in my household is well-fed. I view it as my duty to help my children foster a healthy relationship with food.
Juggling the diverse palates and sensitive stomachs of my loved ones is a daily struggle that leaves me feeling overwhelmed. Even with countless allergen-free recipes available online, I often lack the energy to grind my own flour or whip up homemade mayonnaise. Many evenings, one family member can’t eat what I’ve prepared, which is disheartening when I already dread the prospect of cooking. With a child who has food restrictions, I can’t simply say, “Just eat what I’ve made,” nor does it feel acceptable to let them go hungry when they’re already missing out on many foods that most kids enjoy.
So, I whip up a sandwich for them or prepare yet another salad for myself, and we somehow manage to get through each day. I often find myself dreaming of a deserted island where I wouldn’t have to cook at all, feasting on nothing but tropical fruit.
Logistically, it should be a simple request: just eat. But mealtimes often devolve into negotiations and special requests. We end up sorting through the meal, picking out what can’t be consumed, or settling for a sandwich later. I want my family to be happy and healthy, yet it feels like an uphill battle every single night.
I frequently find myself explaining my gluten-free lifestyle in social situations, apologizing for our dietary needs by saying, “Don’t worry about us,” or “We’ll just eat when we get home.” While it’s not the worst predicament a family could face, the daily grind of it all is mentally exhausting.
The pressure to create meals that are dairy-free, gluten-free, chicken-and-beef-free, and still kid-friendly makes me contemplate hiring a personal chef—though I can’t afford one due to the high costs of gluten-free flour and dairy-free ice cream.
Currently, we survive by packing meals for outings where food options are uncertain, preparing backup meals for those who can’t partake in the main dish, and trying not to overspend in specialty grocery stores full of allergen-free products.
I dream of the day I’m cooking for just two again. I hope to look back on this tumultuous period with fondness, remembering a time when no one was clamoring for gluten-free, dairy-free, meat-free, or green-fleck-free meals, and I can simply enjoy a bowl of cold cereal for dinner without anyone needing reminders about napkins.
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