The 6 Phases of Mom Yelling (Sometimes It’s Silent)

Before I became a parent, I had a few firm beliefs: I would never drive a minivan, yoga pants would never touch my wardrobe, and I would never be the kind of mother who yelled at her children. I would often watch frazzled moms in their stretchy pants maneuvering their vehicles packed with kids, wondering how they could lose their cool so quickly in stores like Target. I was convinced that if I ever had kids, I would maintain a calm demeanor and never raise my voice.

Oh, how naive I was. Motherhood not only caught me off guard, but it also delivered a harsh wake-up call. The reality is that some level of yelling is part of parenting. I find myself eating my words daily, whether I’m shushing my kids in church or using my “silent-but-deadly” lips to communicate when they misbehave in the grocery store.

So yes, I’m one of those moms who yells. But before anyone gets their pitchforks, I’m not talking about full-on screaming. I’ve come to realize that there are various ways I express my frustrations, and I suspect many of you do the same.

1. Pursed Lips, aka “The Silent Threat”

This method often comes with a stern, “Get. Over. Here.” It’s perfect for when your children are acting up in front of relatives or creating chaos in a library. Pursed lips are especially effective in movie theaters when you need them to hush up.

2. Clenched Teeth, aka “I. Said. NO.”

If you walk through any grocery store, you’re likely to see a mom with clenched teeth issuing a firm “no” to her children. This technique is reserved for those moments in public when you can’t bear to say “no” one more time, like when the ice cream truck rolls by or the kids beg for more tokens at Chuck E. Cheese’s.

3. The Single Eyebrow Raise, aka “Stop. Right. There.”

I have mastered the Single Eyebrow Raise, which can stop my kids in their tracks from across a crowded park. This method works wonders when they’re misbehaving but out of earshot, perfect for settings like museums or playgrounds.

4. The Unsettling Smile, aka “The Singsong Voice”

I remember my brothers and I being masters of mischief at family events. My mom’s unnaturally sweet voice saying, “You need to stop that right now, sweetie” always signaled trouble. She’d wear a creepy smile, and we knew a lecture was coming our way.

5. Total Rage, aka “Your Neighbors Will Hear You”

I admit, this approach is the least dignified, but every mom has moments when they lose their cool. Whether it’s a carton of eggs splattered on the floor or a favorite sweater flushed down the toilet, we’ve all had our “Incredible Hulk” moments, usually with the windows wide open.

6. Total Silence, aka “Things Just Got Serious”

And then there are those times when words fail you entirely; you’re left speechless with anger. Moms of teenagers are all too familiar with this style of yelling. When invoked, Total Silence can make kids shudder in fear.

While I am not proud of losing my patience, sometimes a mom has to take action to ensure her kids behave. If you’re looking for more insights into motherhood and parenting, check out our other blog posts, including this one. And for those considering home insemination, Make a Mom is an authority on the subject, while Medical News Today offers excellent resources on fertility and pregnancy.

In summary, the nuances of mom yelling are varied and often unspoken. From pursed lips to complete silence, each method serves a purpose in the chaotic world of parenting.