One Day, I Might Long for the Excitement of Dining Out with Kids, But Today Is Not That Day

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The years have flown by. They warned you that time would race ahead, and you accepted it as truth, yet witnessing an entire phase of your life—your middle years and their beginnings—vanish in an instant is still shocking. You find yourself yearning for those moments once again, even the ones you thought you’d never miss, like dining out with little ones.

You’ll reminisce about their wiggly bodies in their seats, as if they were infested with ants, and the way they’d scale your legs to sneak a peek at neighboring tables, their wide eyes filled with curiosity. You’ll recall how they would affectionately plant their tiny feet on your face while you tried to navigate a fork with the precision of a bomb defuser.

Honestly, you’ll even miss the art of eating with a little behind in your face. The rush to leap from your chair when they need the restroom, but never at the same time. The epic battles for those croutons on your plate, coupled with the suspense of wondering if you’ll ever enjoy one again.

You’ll chuckle as you remember the splashes of cold water hitting your lap when someone tips their drink. The way their pudgy fingers would invade your mouth mid-chew, only for them to reject the food and return it to you. You’ll long for the days of downing cheap house wine as if it were soda.

You’ll smile at the chaos of crayons rolling under the table, forcing them to crawl and rummage through the grime. You’ll ponder why we give rolling objects to little hands, a design flaw that haunts you. And you’ll miss the amusing struggle of retrieving the paper wrappers from their straw tips.

Sibling squabbles will echo in your memory, the endless “he said, she said” arguments that ended in tears—mostly yours. You’ll think back to the endless handwashing after nose-picking, butt-scratching, and floor-crawling, realizing your skin has dried out from all the sanitizing.

Scanning menus and prioritizing their orders will become nostalgic. Sometimes, you forget to order for yourself entirely, too enchanted by their innocent enjoyment of food. The aftermath of meals will remind you of a disaster zone, with items strewn about in an oddly purposeful manner.

As you tip generously to compensate for the mess created, you’ll realize how much you’ll miss these precious moments. But amidst the chaos, there are days when the thought of managing crouton crumbs and little feet in your face feels overwhelming. In those moments, I find myself reaching for takeout menus or Goldfish crackers and muttering, “Hello Dominos? I’d like to place an order for delivery.”

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Summary:

The fleeting moments of dining out with children can be both chaotic and endearing. While parents may find themselves overwhelmed with spills, squabbles, and mess, it’s essential to appreciate these unique experiences. Eventually, the nostalgia for these moments will grow, making the current chaos seem trivial. Embrace the adventure of parenting, and when it becomes too much, remember that takeout is just a call away.