Can We All Just Relax About Preschool?

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A few months back, while enjoying a pizza outing with my family, we unexpectedly bumped into my children’s preschool teacher. The excitement was palpable as we embraced and exchanged joyful greetings. She commented on how much my kids had grown, and as we chatted, I felt a wave of nostalgia wash over me when we said our goodbyes.

Reflecting on our preschool choice, I realized how fortunate we were. I hadn’t conducted extensive research; instead, I chose the school based on a neighbor’s suggestion and its convenient location just two blocks away—an essential factor for parents racing against the clock to get out of the house with toddlers. Beyond its proximity, the preschool provided a nurturing atmosphere that emphasized play-based learning. The teachers were incredibly warm, and the environment was relaxed, featuring ample free play, storytime, and music classes led by a remarkably patient instructor.

There were no tests, no drills, and certainly no rigorous assessments in literacy or math. Instead, children learned vital life skills like sharing, listening, and friendship while being encouraged to explore, take risks, and simply be kids.

However, it has become clear that our culture’s approach to early education has shifted significantly, affecting even the youngest learners. As reported by The Atlantic, the structure of preschool has evolved dramatically in recent years. Unlike the nurturing, play-based environment my children experienced—now something of a rarity—many preschools are leaning towards more structured activities and direct instruction.

A study titled “Is Kindergarten the New First Grade?” indicates a troubling trend: the number of teachers expecting children to read by the end of kindergarten has skyrocketed from 30% to 80% over the last two decades. Children are spending more time on worksheets and workbooks rather than engaging in music and art.

As expectations for kindergarteners rise, many parents are understandably concerned, and this anxiety is cascading down to preschool. Erika Christakis highlighted in The Atlantic that a child who is expected to read by the end of kindergarten must be prepared in preschool. Consequently, tasks that were once appropriate for older children, like sitting at a desk and completing assignments, are now being placed on kids much younger, who often lack the necessary attention span and motor skills.

These changes are proving counterproductive. Kindergarten, once a gentle introduction to school life, has morphed into a pressure cooker of expectations. Teachers note that today’s children seem less curious and engaged than in the past, suggesting we may be setting them up for failure while driving ourselves into a frenzy.

This is not to diminish the importance of preschool. A quality program can foster independence, creativity, and communication skills, and it also provides valuable childcare for working parents while offering respite for those at home. But what constitutes a good preschool?

Experts agree that effective preschool programs share common features: they promote interaction between children and adults, cultivate social and emotional skills, emphasize active learning, encourage family involvement, and employ skilled teachers. “Conversation is gold,” writes Christakis. Engaging children in dialogue, encouraging them to listen and question, is essential. Skills like communication, friendship, and teamwork are invaluable—much more so than whether your 5-year-old can read.

In my opinion, a quality preschool should empower children to become their best selves. Like the one we were fortunate to find, it should nurture independent thinking, teach the value of friendship, and inspire a love of learning. After all, these are not just educational skills; they are life skills.

So, it’s time for us to take a step back and chill out about preschool. These are young children, after all. Let’s allow them the freedom to simply be kids.

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In summary, preschool should be a nurturing environment that prioritizes the emotional and social development of young children. While the landscape of early education is changing, it’s crucial to remember the importance of play and creativity in these formative years.