Having children is a choice I made with the full knowledge that they would rely on me. However, I never anticipated the extent of that need. The responsibility of nurturing another human being can be a daunting challenge for both body and mind. Yet, I went ahead and welcomed another child, and then another, all while being acutely aware of the diminishing moments of free time I would have. It’s a sacrifice we willingly make for our children and family.
There are definitely days when the demands of parenting don’t weigh heavily on me. I understand that their neediness will fluctuate over time. Regardless of what anyone says, kids will always require their parents. But as they grow, their focus will shift toward friendships and crafting their own narratives. I am aware of this evolution, yet some days I can’t help but wish for a little less reliance.
The idea of enjoying a cherished hobby without interruptions—no small hands tugging at my sleeves, no requests for help with a jar, or searching for a Band-Aid—seems almost unattainable. At times, I yearn for the solitude to simply be myself again, even if that means locking myself in the car or heading to a nearby hotel for a few hours of peace. I don’t need extensive time; just a brief reunion with my own self would suffice. After 13 years of motherhood, I’ve come to realize that spending time alone is crucial, regardless of how fatigued I feel or how busy my family life is.
That’s why, just the other night, while everyone else was fast asleep, I found myself awake, chatting with a friend online. The previous night, I struggled to keep my eyes open while engrossed in a fantastic novel. Yes, I could have chosen sleep, but the tranquility of the night enveloping me while I indulged in a good book was simply too captivating to resist.
I’ve burned the midnight oil sewing quilts or binge-watching DIY shows until the early hours. I’ve tackled home improvement projects when everyone else was asleep, relishing the speed and satisfaction of completing tasks without distractions. It’s invigorating to see a project through to completion in one go.
Every weekend, I have the option to remain in bed and doze as the morning sun rises, or I can slip outside for a refreshing run. Those moments alone with my thoughts, while my children catch up on sleep, are invaluable. I can explore at my own pace, pausing to appreciate a field of cows or a family of turkeys, inhaling the fresh air that rejuvenates my spirit. When I finally step back inside, I return as a reenergized version of myself. Choosing “me time” over additional sleep makes me a better person.
I fully recognize my children’s need for me, and I embrace that role wholeheartedly. I pride myself on being a dedicated mother. However, there’s another person who requires my attention—myself. I need to reconnect with who I am outside of motherhood, free from interruptions, to be a nurturing and engaged parent.
Mothers often navigate their days in a state of partial connection to themselves or completely disconnected. Before becoming parents, we were individuals with dreams and passions. While our children undoubtedly enhance our lives, it’s important not to lose sight of the person we were before them. She still exists, and it’s perfectly fine for her to emerge occasionally.
For me, that special time is at night once the kids are tucked in bed and I finally have the house to myself. For more insights on balancing motherhood and self-care, check out this post on home insemination.
In conclusion, prioritizing self-care and personal time, even when exhausted, is essential for mothers. It’s not just about being there for our kids; it’s also about being there for ourselves.
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