Sometimes My Toddler Swears, and I’m Not Too Worried About It

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It can be a bit unsettling to hear your little one casually say something like, “I’m gonna lick your boom-boom down.” My son has quite a bit of freedom when it comes to his YouTube choices, and when he stumbled across Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon’s “The History of Rap Part 6” on The Tonight Show’s channel, I was thrilled as a lifelong JT fan that he found something enjoyable. He became obsessed with the video, and initially, he couldn’t quite grasp (or repeat) most of the lyrics, so I brushed it off.

However, once he started to learn the words, it was adorable to watch him grab his flashlight microphone and belt out “Fight for Your Right” by the Beastie Boys. Hearing him attempt to sing along to Snow’s “Informer” and R. Kelly’s “Ignition” was a riot. I would join in, often playing the Jimmy to his Justin. Since it was a late-night show, I figured it was relatively appropriate. But as I listened to him rock out to music that might make other parents gasp, it reaffirmed something I’ve known about myself: swearing and “bad language” don’t really faze me.

I must admit, I find it quite funny when little kids swear. I remember a friend’s daughter going through a phase where she would let a few curse words slip, and I couldn’t help but laugh every time. I always knew that if I had a child who did the same, I would struggle to keep a straight face. I would be like Cam from Modern Family, cracking up every time my son let a naughty word slip. I knew I wouldn’t be upset, especially if he used the words correctly.

I do have a habit of using strong language in my daily life, having started to do so in my preteen years. My parents were strict about swearing, which made me go a bit wild with it once I hit middle school. There was a moment when I accidentally said “shit” on the phone, and when my dad asked about it, I lied and said he must’ve misheard. My dad isn’t much of a swearer, but my mom definitely is.

As I matured, I managed to tone it down, but there are times when you just need to say “screw this” to express your feelings adequately. Although I didn’t completely eliminate swearing from my speech once my son began to understand those words, I did try to limit it. I know many people wouldn’t appreciate a toddler shouting “shit,” but I’m not one of them.

I don’t believe in censoring what my child hears. Eventually, he will be out in the world without me, and he’ll encounter language. I’ve heard really young kids using those words, and I don’t want him to be mortified by them as if they’re the worst things ever; there are far worse issues out there. I recall wanting a certain album as a tween but being unable to get it due to the parental advisory label, despite having had Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill, which is filled with swear words. My mom was shocked by the lyrics to “Barbie Girl” by Aqua, yet she didn’t mind me watching soap operas with her. The irony was not lost on me.

I’ve always been annoyed by Kidz Bop CDs that sanitize adult songs instead of letting kids hear the originals on the radio. And can we talk about how cringeworthy those versions are?

A recent study suggested that swearing is linked to intelligence, and while I’m not claiming to be a genius, I truly believe it. I can articulate myself well enough to make a point and also tell you to go take a hike when needed. It’s not an either/or situation. Knowing how to effectively use curse words can actually showcase one’s wit.

Swearing is an art form; it’s all about knowing how to incorporate it into conversation. Just look at Samuel L. Jackson—he’s a master at casually weaving “motherfucker” into everyday speech, making it sound just as natural as “hey” or “that person.” It requires skill, folks!

Not long ago, I overheard my son say, “What the hell is that?” while rummaging through a drawer, discovering some hidden candy. His casual tone made me second-guess what I thought I heard. It wasn’t until he repeated the phrase weeks later that I realized I wasn’t imagining it. Rather than reprimanding him, I gently explained that some people find that word inappropriate and that he might want to save it for when he’s with me. He seemed to get it and hasn’t used it since. But if he does, I’m not going to make a big deal out of it.

I plan to keep letting him enjoy his favorite “History of Rap” video and probably chuckle a bit too much when he utters something a little inappropriate. I don’t think this will harm him whatsoever. He’ll learn there’s a time and a place for swearing, and for now, that’s just between us.

It’ll be our little secret—until this is published.

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Summary:

Navigating the world of toddler swearing can be challenging for many parents, but for Jamie, it’s not a cause for concern. With a humorous approach, she reflects on her own experiences with language and how she handles her son’s exposure to adult language through music and media. Embracing the occasional swear word as part of growing up, she aims to teach her child about appropriate contexts while maintaining a lighthearted perspective.