My psychiatrist set down her pen and said, “I suspect you have ADD.” She asked if daily life tasks felt overwhelming compared to others my age. In that moment, I broke down, overwhelmed by fear. I had no checking account because managing money terrified me; I couldn’t even estimate our mortgage payment. Our water was shut off repeatedly due to unpaid bills that I somehow forgot, despite having the funds. My car was a mess, with trash spilling out whenever I opened the doors, and I constantly forgot essentials like wipes, diaper bags, and lunches.
At 34 years old, I was finally diagnosed with a condition that had significantly impacted my life. I had the inattentive type of ADD (ADHD without hyperactivity), and I knew I wasn’t alone. According to reports, between 2008 and 2012, the use of ADHD medications surged by 85% among women aged 26 to 34. Dr. Emily Carter, a leading expert at the National Center for Women and Girls with ADHD, notes that “the average age of diagnosis for women who weren’t diagnosed as children is between 36 and 38 years old.” Before this, many women were misdiagnosed with depression or anxiety disorders. While these issues can be secondary effects, they don’t address the underlying ADHD.
Historical Context
Historically, many women went undiagnosed for various reasons. The DSM-IV guidelines required symptoms to appear by age seven, and studies were predominantly centered on white boys, focusing heavily on hyperactivity. However, we now recognize that many girls display symptoms later in life. The DSM-V has since adjusted the onset age to 12, allowing more women to meet the diagnostic criteria.
Understanding ADHD in Adult Women
Awareness of how ADHD presents in adult women is also growing. It manifests quite differently compared to young boys, who are often loud, restless, and interruptive. Women, conversely, may struggle with organization, feeling as though life is spiraling out of control. We often avoid hosting friends due to the chaos of our homes. The idea of adding “one more thing” to our to-do list can send us into a panic. We find ourselves constantly “coping, searching for items, or trying to catch up.” Others may perceive us as selfish for not sending birthday or thank-you notes.
I didn’t need to read any further; I was already crying. I recalled my wedding thank-you cards that I continually postponed. After finally buying beautiful stationery worth $75, I spent an entire night writing personalized notes in a burst of mania, only to never mail them. This isn’t the typical image of a hyperactive child. ADHD appears differently in women, which is why many of us remain undiagnosed. Research indicates that girls often lean towards the inattentive type of ADHD, leading to difficulties with organization and a propensity to daydream. Many of us mask our symptoms to align with societal expectations, making careless mistakes along the way.
The Impact of Untreated ADHD
Moreover, studies reveal that girls with ADHD are three to four times more likely to attempt suicide than their peers without the disorder. The challenges don’t stop in adolescence; about 50% of adults with ADHD also suffer from anxiety disorders. Many women may struggle with untreated ADHD for years, leading to depression or other psychiatric conditions. Dr. Sarah Lee, a clinical psychologist specializing in ADHD, emphasizes that we have a generation of women diagnosed later in life who have had to navigate their conditions largely alone.
Finding Hope and Help
As awareness increases, so does the number of women receiving diagnoses. Finding the right medication can be a balancing act, especially if you have coexisting anxiety disorders. Personally, I grappled with imposter syndrome for a year after my diagnosis, feeling like an outsider in my own life. The remnants of a childhood spent being told to “hurry up” or “stop daydreaming” still lingered.
However, there is hope. If you identify with the symptoms listed by ADDitude Magazine, consider scheduling an appointment with your doctor. You no longer have to be the mother who forgets the wipes, nor should you feel overwhelmed by the clutter of toys and tiny shoes. You can become the parent you aspire to be, without sacrificing your well-being in the process. For further information on this topic, you can refer to some of our other blog posts, including terms and conditions.
Conclusion
In summary, growing recognition of ADHD in adult women is reshaping how we understand this condition. With proper diagnosis and treatment, women can reclaim control over their lives, paving the way for a more organized and fulfilling future.