I’m a Protective Mom, and I Have No Plans to Change My Approach

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There was a time when I was an anxious new parent, dreading the idea of having my parenting skills scrutinized in public. I envisioned myself as a laid-back mom with well-behaved kids (oh, how naive!), believing that tantrums in stores or mishaps at parks were far from our reality. Little did I know that motherhood had other plans for me, and now I’ve grown comfortable with my role as an outspoken, protective mom who isn’t concerned about what others think.

Just this past weekend, my kids attended a birthday party at an indoor pool. With winter in full swing here in Maine, the excitement of splashing around with foam noodles sent them into a frenzy. Before we arrived at the pool, I laid down the ground rules in the car. “Listen, kids, while we’re at the party, no running, no throwing, and when you’re in the water, stay close to the other kids, okay?” I was met with four eye rolls and two nods. They’re used to my pre-party briefings.

About an hour into the party, I found myself clapping my hands loudly (my voice barely audible over the cheers of 50 kids) and using my stern mom voice to call out my children’s full names. They waded over to me, and I said, “If I see you dunking each other again, we’re leaving, got it?” I noticed a few judgmental glances from other parents, but here’s the truth: I’m responsible for those two little lives, and I’ll do everything in my power to keep them safe, even if it means being the mom giving orders.

When my oldest son comes home upset because the older kids on the bus are bullying the younger ones, guess what? I’m the mom who contacts the bus company and shares my concerns. I refuse to let my child live in fear because some older kid finds joy in picking on others.

My children are not allowed to play with realistic-looking toy guns, and I limit their access to junk food. They know they need to ask for snacks beyond the fruit bowl. They haven’t been exposed to the relentless barrage of toy commercials because their viewing is limited to PBS. As a parent, it’s my responsibility to filter what they encounter and only allow what I deem suitable.

I don’t implement these rules to be overbearing; I do it because I want to ensure their safety and provide them with a childhood that nurtures their growth into strong, capable individuals. So, if I hear about a kid at school throwing punches at my child—even if it’s a friend and even if it’s “just roughhousing”—I guarantee that the teachers and other parents will hear from me quickly.

When my kids fall ill, I make them stay home. Any sign of fever, vomiting, or unusual fatigue lands them on the couch with a blanket, no questions asked. I admire the moms who stand firm in their roles, declaring, “I’m not your friend; I’m your mother.” I resonate with that sentiment. My children are only young for a short time, and my job is to keep them secure, provide opportunities for their development, and guide them as they navigate their identities before they venture out on their own.

I’m a protective mother because, like all parents, I love my kids and want to keep them safe for as long as I can. My focus isn’t on making friends with other parents or being the popular mom. My primary role is to be the authoritative figure they need.

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In summary, I embrace my role as an overprotective mother, prioritizing my children’s safety and well-being above all else.