A poignant post on Facebook is gaining traction, illuminating the challenging realities that foster children confront as they navigate a system that can be overwhelming and devoid of empathy. Last week, foster parent Emily shared her experiences on her page, Foster Your Heart Out, driving home the urgent need for compassion and community involvement in the lives of these vulnerable children. In just a few days, her post garnered over 42,000 shares and reached 6 million views.
“Today was court day,” she began, reflecting on the chilling proceedings. “I had to grip the table to steady my shaking hands. It felt like a mere legal formality, devoid of any compassion. The officials asked, ‘Does anyone want this child? Are you sure? No? Well, we’ll reconvene in a few weeks to finalize the paperwork.’”
Emily continued, “The child in question is a boy whom I deeply care for, sitting beside me and overhearing every word, trying to wipe away the tears streaming down his face.”
As a foster parent to a 14-year-old son and a biological mom to a toddler and a preschooler, Emily expressed her frustration with society’s unrealistic expectations of foster children. “We expect them to behave like responsible members of society. Yet, we drop them off at strangers’ homes with their belongings stuffed in trash bags and then make them sit through court hearings that would distress any adult. Afterward, we send them off to school to manage their emotions, and we’re shocked when they struggle and face expulsion. We label them as ‘troubled’ for their outbursts of anger and frustration.”
Her message emphasizes the critical need for more foster parents, as well as a call for everyone to show support and understanding. “Why are juvenile detention centers overflowing? Because our custody courtrooms are empty,” Emily concluded.
She and her husband became aware of the pressing need for foster care after researching adoption and foster-to-adopt options. “Once you become aware of this need, you can’t ignore it. You see the faces and hear the voices of children in your community who are yearning for safety, stability, and love. It becomes an obsession,” she shared.
According to the Child Welfare Information Gateway, a division of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, approximately 427,910 children were in foster care as of September 30, 2015, with nearly half placed in nonrelative foster family homes. The average age of a child entering the system was around six years, and most remained in care for one month to two years.
The path to becoming a foster parent varies by state, typically involving interviews, background checks, training sessions, home visits, and potentially medical or psychological evaluations. Emily noted that one of the toughest challenges was obtaining their home license and helping a teenager accept love, even when it’s difficult.
Despite the challenges and emotional toll of fostering, she believes the rewards of making a positive impact in a child’s life far outweigh the heartache. “These children need love more than you need to shield your heart. If fostering isn’t feasible for you, there are still many ways to help,” she advised.
For instance, consider becoming a respite care provider to offer short-term assistance to foster parents. Volunteering with organizations such as Big Brothers Big Sisters or the Boys and Girls Club can significantly enrich a foster child’s life. Donations of time, money, and supplies to local foster care organizations can also make a difference. Emily encouraged the community to connect with local foster families, suggesting small gestures like delivering meals or essential supplies.
Additionally, sponsoring a foster child for summer camp or donating gift cards for birthdays can brighten their lives. “These kids need you,” Emily reminded readers. “They need your cluttered home, your hectic lifestyle, and your off-key singing in the car. They need to see you just as you are.”
In summary, Emily’s heartfelt post calls for compassion and action to support foster children who face heartbreaking realities daily. Whether through fostering, mentoring, or community support, there are numerous ways to help these children thrive.