I was venting to a colleague about my toddler’s sleep struggles. I mentioned that she had stayed up until nearly 11 p.m. the previous night and was up bright and early at 5 a.m. ready to watch cartoons. “Sounds like it might be time to ditch the nap,” he suggested with a raised eyebrow, a gesture he often uses to signal that I need to be a bit tougher. Mark and I have been working side by side for nearly three years. He’s a former military officer in his 50s with two teenagers. His nickname at the office is “Tough Guy,” reflecting his penchant for the “suck it up” mindset.
“Yeah, I’ll consider that,” I replied. But honestly, I had no intention of doing so. Others have suggested the same thing, and I’ve faced frustration from friends without kids when I refuse to skip nap time for social events. Even my own mother has voiced her discontent, clearly out of touch with the realities of modern parenting.
The Truth About Naps
Here’s the truth about naps from my perspective: I adore my daughter, Lucy. She’s endearing, inquisitive, and amusing, but let’s face it—most of the time, she’s a handful. This isn’t a reflection of her character or the person she’ll become; it’s simply the reality of raising a 2-year-old, which is arguably the most challenging, rewarding, and exhausting job ever.
If I want to unleash a tempest of tantrums, all I have to do is take away her nap. While I’ve never purposefully eliminated her nap time, there have been occasions when she refused to sleep, and it felt like an unpredictable, hyperactive raccoon had invaded our home.
I won’t put myself or my partner through that. Not that she wouldn’t manage—my partner, Sarah, is incredibly resilient. She has endured three C-sections and can handle anything thrown her way. But I wouldn’t wish the chaos of a sleep-deprived toddler on anyone. Plus, I wouldn’t want to deprive Sarah of those blissful one- to two-hour breaks during the day.
The Paradox of Parenting
This is the paradox of parenting: you’re often stuck between a rock and a hard place. When it comes to getting your child to sleep, there’s no perfect solution—at least not from my experience.
I know there’s a sleep expert out there ready to jump into the comments with a promise of guaranteed sleep solutions for a fee, or perhaps someone who has been fortunate enough to have a child who sleeps soundly, or someone trying to sell essential oils. If that’s you, save your breath—this isn’t for you.
This is for the parents of kids like mine, who struggle to maintain a consistent sleep schedule until they’re 3, 4, or maybe even 25. I have three children, and all of them have grappled with sleep issues in their early years. They’ve all thrown tantrums when deprived of their naps, leaving me to head to work with bloodshot eyes, often finding myself dozing off on public transport.
My partner and I have had conversations in the dead of night that made zero sense, lost in our exhaustion. Our sanity has been tested during the day, and we cherish those precious hours of naptime.
Embracing the Naptime
Ultimately, I’ve learned that I can try to manage or manipulate sleep, but my children are the ones calling the shots. They’ll figure it out in their own time. As frustrating as that is, the best advice I can give is to treasure those naps. Enjoy every moment of them. If you can, take a nap yourself. Stay strong; they will likely find their rhythm eventually.
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Conclusion
In summary, navigating toddler sleep patterns is a complex challenge, but naps are crucial for both parents and children. Embrace the nap times and recognize that eventually, children will learn to manage their own sleep schedules.